世界上最优美的散文--人生短篇-第12章
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是你心里记得很清楚的那天的服装，怎么样， 你还是会因为认出了你是你这件事而感到吃惊。还有当你有时到镜子前去整理头发时，尽管 是在最清醒的大清早时刻，你不是也好像瞥见一个完全陌生的人吗？而且这陌生人还让你颇 为好奇呢。如果说连形式颜『色』动作这类外观准确的细节都是这样，那么对于像心智和道德这 种不易把握的复杂效果又将怎样呢？
有人真心实意地去努力留下一个好印象。但结果怎样呢，不过是被他的朋友们在内心深 处认为他是一个刻意给人留下好印象的人。如果一切只凭着单独会一次面或见几次面，—— 这个人倒很能迫使另一个人接受他本人希望造成的某种印象。但是如果接受印象的人有足够 的时间来自由支配，那么印象的给予者就干脆束手静坐了，因为他的所有招数都丝毫改变不 了或影响不了他最终所造成的印象。真正的印象是在结尾，是无意而不是刻意造成的。同时 ，它也是无意而不是刻意接受的。它的形成要靠双方，而且是事先就已经确定的，最终的欺 骗是不可能的……
expressing one's individuality
arnold bennet
a most curious and useful thing to realize is that one never knows the impre ssion one is creating on other people。 one may often guess pretty acomurately whe ther it is good； bad； or indifferent — some people render it unnecessary for on e to guess； they practically inform one — but that is not what i mean。 i mean m uch more than that。 i mean that one has one's self no mental picture correspondi ng to the mental picture which one's personality leaves in the minds of one's fr iends。 has it ever struck you that there is a mysterious individual going around ； walking the streets； calling at houses for tea； chatting； laughing； grumbling； arguing； and that all your friends know him and have long since added him up an d come to a definite conclusion about him — without saying more than a chance； cautious word to you； and that that person is you。 supposing that you came into a drawingroom where you were having tea； do you think you would recognize your self as an individuality。 i think not。 you would be apt to say to yourself as gu ests do when disturbed in drawingrooms by other guests： “who's this chap。 see ms rather queer。 i hope he won't be a bore。〃 and your first telling would be sli ghtly hostile。 why； even when you meet yourself in an unsuspected mirror in the very clothes that you have put on that very day and that you know by heart； you are almost always shocked by the realization that you are you。 and now and then； when you have gone to the glass to arrange your hair in the full sobriety of ea rly morning； have you not looked on an absolute stranger； and has not that stran ger piqued your curiosity。 and if it is thus with precise external details of fo rm； colour； and movement； what may it not be with the vague complex effect of th e mental and moral individuality。
a man honestly tries to make a good impression。 what is the result。 the resu lt merely is that his friends； in the privacy of their minds； set him down as a man who tries to make a good impression。 if much depends on the result of a sing le interview； or a couple of interviews； a man may conceivably force another to acomept an impression of himself which he would like to convey。 but if the receiv er of the impression is to have time at his disposal； then the giver of the impr ession may just as well sit down and put his hands in his pockets； for nothing t hat he can do will modify or influence in any way the impression that he will ul timately give。 the real impress is； in the end； given unconsciously； not conscio usly； and further； it is received unconsciously； not consciously。 it depends par tly on both persons。 and it is immutably fixed beforehand。 there can be no final deception…
第1卷 第五章
滚 球
佚名
在我4岁时，我从大西洋城里一个货场的货车上摔了下来，头先着地，于是我失去了视 力。现在我32岁了，我能模糊地记起阳光的灿烂，红『色』的鲜艳。能恢复视力当然是件奇妙的 事情，但一场灾难也可以对人产生奇妙的作用。有一天，我突然想到，如果我没有成为盲人 ，我可能不会像现在这样热爱生活。现在，我相信生活，但我不能肯定，如果自己的视力正 常，会不会像现在这样深深地相信生活。我并不是说我宁愿失去视力，我的意思是由于视力 的丧失使我更加珍惜自己其他方面的能力。
我相信，生活要求人们不断地调整自己去适应现实。人越能及时地调整自己，他的个人 世界便越有意义。调整是件很困难的事。我一度感到茫然、恐惧，但我是幸运的。我的父母 和老师在我身上发现了某种东西——你可以称它为“活下去的潜力”——虽然我自己并没有 发现。他们激起我与失明搏斗的勇气。
我不得不学会的最艰难的一课就是相信我自己，这一点是最基本的。如果做不到这点， 我可能会精神崩溃，剩下的时光只能坐在前门廊的摇椅中度过。相信自己并不仅仅指支持我 独自走下陌生楼梯的那种自信。那只是自信的一部分。我指的是一些更大的事情：那就是坚 信自己虽然有缺陷，却是一个真正的有进取心的人；坚信在芸芸众生错综复杂的格局当中， 一定有一个特殊的位置供我立足。
我花了很多年的时间才树立起这一信念，并把它不断地强化。这必须从最简单的事情做 起。有一次，一个人送给我一个室内玩的棒球，我想他在嘲笑我，感觉受到了伤害。“我不 能玩这个东西。”我说，“你自己拿去吧。”他竭力劝我说：“你可以在地上滚。”他的话 深深地印在我的脑海里。“在地上滚！”滚动的球可以使我听见它朝哪个方向滚动。我马上 联想到一个我曾认为不可能做到的事情：打棒球。在费城的奥弗布鲁克盲人学校，我成功地 发明了一种很受欢迎的棒球游戏，我们称它为地面球。
我给自己的一生树立了一系列目标，然后一次一个、竭尽全力地去实现它们。我必须知 道自己的局限。如果一开始就知道某个目标根本不可能实现却硬要去做，那不会带来任何益 处，因为它只会带来失败的苦果。我有时也会失败，但一般说来我总会取得进步。
a ball to roll around
anonymous
i lost my sight when i was four years old by falling off a box car in a frei ght yard in atlantic city and landing on my head。 now i am thirtytwo。 i can va guely remember the brightness of sunshine and what color red is。 it would be won derful to see again； but a calamity can do strange things to people。 it ocomurred to me the other day that i might not have come to love life as i do if i hadn't been blind。 i believe in life now。 i am not so sure that i would have believed in it so deeply； otherwise。 i don't mean that i would prefer to go without my ey es。 i simply mean that the loss of them made me appreciate the more what i had l eft。
life； i believe； asks a continuous series of adjustments to reality。 the mor e readily a person is able to make these adjustments； the more meaningful his ow n private world becomes。 the adjustment is never easy。 i was bewildered and afra id。 but i was lucky。 my parents and my teachers saw something in me — a potenti al to live； you might call it — which i didn't see； and they made me want to fi ght it out with blindness。
the hardest lesson i had to learn was to believe in myself。 that was basic。 if i hadn't been able to do that； i would have collapsed and become a chair rock er on the front porch for the rest of my life。 when i say belief in myself i am not talking about simply the kind of selfconfidence that helps me down an unfa miliar staircase alone。 that is part of it。 but i mean something bigger than tha t： an assurance that i am； despite imperfections； a real； positive person； that somewhere in the sweeping； intricate pattern of people there is a special place where i can make myself fit。
it took me years to discover and strengthen this assurance。 it had to start with the most elementary things。 once a man gave me an indoor baseball。 i though t he was mocking me and i was hurt。 “i can't use this。〃 i said。 “take it with you；〃 he urged me； “and roll it around。〃 the words stuck in my head。 “roll it around！〃 by rolling the ball i could hear where it went。 this gave me an idea ho w to achieve a goal i had thought impossible： playing baseball。 at philadelphia' s overbrook school for the blind i invented a sucomessful variation of baseball。 we called it ground ball。
all my life i have set ahead of me a series of goals and then tried to reach them； one at a time。 i had to learn my limitations。 it was no good to try for s omething i knew at the start was wildly out of reach because that only invited t he bitterness of failure。 i would fail sometimes anyway but on the average i mad e progress。
健全的人生
佚名
从前，有个圆圈丢失了一块楔子。它想保持完整，所以它到处寻找那块楔子。但因为它 是不完整的，所以它只能慢慢地往前滚。在路上，它对花儿表示羡慕；它与虫子谈天说地； 它还欣赏到阳光之美。圆圈找到了许多不同的楔子，但没有一件适合它。所以，它将它们全 都扔在路边，继续寻觅。终于有一天，它找到了一个完美的楔子。圆圈是如此高兴，因为现 在它可以说是完美无缺了。它装好配件，并开始滚动起来。它已成为一个完美的圆圈，所以 它滚动得非常快，以至于没有时间观赏花儿，也无暇与虫子交谈。当圆圈意识到因为它滚得 如此之快，以至于失去了原有的世界时，它停了下来，将找到的配件扔在路边，又开始慢慢 地往前滚动。
我想，这个故事告诉人们，从某种奇怪的意义上来说，当我们失去了一些东西时，反而 会更加完整。一个拥有一切的人在某些方面其实是个穷人，因为他永远也体会不到什么是渴 望、期待及如何用美好梦想滋养自己的灵魂。他也永远不可能有这样的体验——一个爱他的 人送给他某种他梦寐以求的或者从未拥有过的东西意味着什么。
人生的完整『性』在于知道如何面对缺陷，如何勇敢地摒弃不现实的幻想而又不以此为憾。 人生的完整『性』还在于学会勇敢地面对人生悲剧而继续活下去，能够在失去某人后依然能表现 出完整的个人风范。
人生并不是上帝为了谴责我们的缺陷而给我们设下的陷阱。人生也不是一场拼字游戏的 比赛——不管你拼出了多少单
