安妮日记-第47章

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very　night　on　his　bike；　acpanied　by　his　two　dogs。　his　wife　said　he　would　e　on　tuesday　and　tell　mr。　kugler　the　rest。　no　one　at　the　police　station　seemed　to　know　anything　about　the　break…in；　but　they　made　a　note　to　e　first　thing　tuesday　morning　to　have　a　look。

on　the　way　back　jan　happened　to　run　into　mr。　van　hoeven；　the　man　who　supplies　us　with　potatoes；　and　told　him　of　the　break…in。　〃i　know；〃　mr。　van　hoeven　calmly　replied。

〃last　night　when　my　wife　and　i　were　walking　past　your　building；　i　saw　a　gap　in　the　door。　my　wife　wanted　to　walk　on；　but　i　peeked　inside　with　a　flashlight；　and　thats　when　the　burglars　must　have　run　off。　to　be　on　the　safe　side；　i　didnt　call　the　police。　i　thought　it　wouldnt　be　wise　in　your　case。　i　dont　know　anything；　but　i　have　my　suspicions。〃　jan　thanked　him　and　went　on。　mr。　van　hoeven　obviously　suspects　were　here；　because　he　always　delivers　the　potatoes　at　lunchtime。　a　decent　man！

it　was　one　oclock　by　the　time　jan　left　and　wed　done　the　dishes。　all　eight　of　us　went　to　bed。　i　woke　up　at　quarter　to　three　and　saw　that　mr。　dussel　was　already　up。　my　face　rumpled　with　sleep；　i　happened　to　run　into　peter　in　the　bathroom；　just　after　hed

e　downstairs。　we　agreed　to　meet　in　the　office。　i　freshened　up　a　bit　and　went　down。

〃after　all　this；　do　you　still　dare　go　to　the　front　attic？〃　he　asked。　i　nodded；　grabbed　my　pillow；　with　a　cloth　wrapped　around　it；　and　we　went　up　together。　the　weather　was　gorgeous；　and　even　though　the　air…raid　sirens　soon　began　to　wail；　we　stayed　where　we　were。　peter　put　his　arm　around　my　shoulder；　i　put　mine　around　his；　and　we　sat　quietly　like　this　until　four　oclock；　when　margot　came　to　get　us　for　coffee。

we　ate　our　bread；　drank　our　lemonade　and　joked　（we　were　finally　able　to　again）；　and　for　the　rest　everything　was　back　to　normal。　that　evening　i　thanked　peter　because　hed　been　the　bravest　of　us　all。

none　of　us　have　ever　been　in　such　danger　as　we　were　that　night。　god　was　truly　watching　over　us。　just　think…the　police　were　right　at　the　bookcase；　the　light　was　on；　and　still　no　one　had　discovered　our　hiding　place！　〃now　were　done　for！〃　id　whispered　at　that　moment；　but　once　again　we　were　spared。　when　the　invasion　es　and　the　bombs　start　falling；　itll　be　every　man　for　himself；　but　this　time　we　feared　for　those　good；　innocent　christians　who　are　helping　us。

〃weve　been　saved；　keep　on　saving　us！〃　thats　all　we　can　say。

this　incident　has　brought　about　a　whole　lot　of　changes。　as　of　now；　dussel　will　be　doing　his　work　in　the　bathroom；　and　peter　will　be　patrolling　the　house　between　eight…thirty　and　nine…thirty。　peter　isnt　allowed　to　open　his　window　anymore；　since　one　of　the　keg　people　noticed　it　was　open。　we　can　no　longer　flush　the　toilet　after　nine…thirty　at　night。　mr。　sleegers　has　been　hired　as　night　watchman；　and　tonight　a　carpenter　from　the　underground　is　ing　to　make　a　barricade　out　of　our　white　frankfurt　bedsteads。　debates　are　going　on　left　and　right　in　the　annex。　mr。　kugler　has　reproached　us　for　our　carelessness。　jan　also　said　we　should　never　go　downstairs。　what　we　have　to　do　now　is　find　out　whether　sleegers　can　be　trusted；　whether　the　dogs　will　bark　if　they　hear　someone　behind　the　door；　how　to　make　the　barricade；　all　sorts　of　things。

weve　been　strongly　reminded　of　the　fact　that　were　jews　in　chains；　chained　to　one　spot；　without　any　rights；　but　with　a　thousand　obligations。　we　must　put　our　feelings　aside；　we　must　be　brave　and　strong；　bear　disfort　with…　out　plaint；　do　whatever　is　in　our　power　and　trust　in　god。　one　day　this　terrible　war　will　be　over。　the　time　will　e　when　well　be　people　again　and　not　just　jews！

who　has　inflicted　this　on　us？　who　has　set　us　apart　from　all　the　rest？　who　has　put　us

through　such　suffering？　its　god　who　has　made　us　the　way　we　are；　but　its　also　god　who　will　lift　us　up　again。　in　the　eyes　of　the　world；　were　doomed；　but　if；　after　all　this　suffering；　there　are　still　jews　left；　the　jewish　people　will　be　held　up　as　an　example。

who　knows；　maybe　our　religion　will　teach　the　world　and　all　the　people　in　it　about　goodness；　and　thats　the　reason；　the　only　reason；　we　have　to　suffer。　we　can　never　be　just　dutch；　or　just　english；　or　whatever；　we　will　always　be　jews　as　well。　and　well　have　to　keep　on　being　jews；　but　then；　well　want　to　be。

be　brave！　lets　remember　our　duty　and　perform　it　without　plaint。　there　will　be　a　way　out。　god　has　never　deserted　our　people。　through　the　ages　jews　have　had　to　suffer；　but　through　the　ages　theyve　gone　on　living；　and　the　centuries　of　suffering　have　only　made　them　stronger。　the　weak　shall　fall　and　the　strong　shall　survive　and　not　be　defeated！

that　night　i　really　thought　i　was　going　to　die。　i　waited　for　the　police　and　i　was　ready　for　death；　like　a　soldier　on　a　battlefield。　id　gladly　have　given　my　life　for　my　country。

but　now；　now　that　ive　been　spared；　my　first　wish　after　the　war　is　to　bee　a　dutch　citizen。　i　love　the　dutch；　i　love　this　country；　i　love　the　language；　and　i　want　to　work　here。　and　even　if　i　have　to　write　to　the　queen　herself；　i　wont　give　up　until　ive　reached　my　goal！

im　being　more　and　more　independent　of　my　parents。　young　as　i　am；　i　face　life　with　more　courage　and　have　a　better　and　truer　sense　of　justice　than　mother。　i　know　what　i　want；　i　have　a　goal；　i　have　opinions；　a　religion　and　love。　if　only　i　can　be　myself；　ill　be　satisfied。　i　know　that　im　a　woman；　a　woman　with　inner　strength　and　a　great　deal　of　courage！

if　god　lets　me　live；　ill　achieve　more　than　mother　ever　did；　ill　make　my　voice　heard；　ill　go　out　into　the　world　and　work　for　mankind！

i　now　know　that　courage　and　happiness　are　needed　first！

yours；　anne　

m。　frank

friday；　april　14；　1944

dear　kitty；

everyone　here　is　still　very　tense。　pim　has　nearly　reached　the　bothng　point；　mrs。　van　d。　is　lying　in　bed　with　a　cold；　grumbling；　mr。　van　d。　is　growing　pale　without　his　cigarettes；　dussel；　whos　having　to　give　up　many　of　his　forts；　is　carping　at

everyone；　etc。；　etc。　we　seem　to　have　run　out　of　luck　lately。　the　toilets　leaking；　and　the　faucets　stuck。　thanks　to　our　many　connections；　well　soon　be　able　to　get　these　repaired。

im　occasionally　sentimental；　as　you　know；　but　from　time　to　time　i　have　reason　to　be：

when　peter　and　i　are　sitting　close　together　on　a　hard　wooden　crate　among　the　junk　and　dust；　our　arms　around　each　others　shoulders；　peter　toying　with　a　lock　of　my　hair；

when　the　birds　outside　are　trilling　their　songs；　when　the　trees　are　in　bud；　when　the　sun　beckons　and　the　sky　is　so　blue……oh；　thats　when　i　wish　for　so　much！

all　i　see　around　me　are　dissatisfied　and　grumpy　faces；　all　i　hear　are　sighs　and　stifled　plaints。　youd　think　our　lives　had　taken　a　sudden　turn　for　the　worse。　honestly；　things　are　only　as　bad　as　you　make　them。　here　in　the　annex　no　one　even　bothers　to　set　a　good　example。　we　each　have　to　figure　out　how　to　get　the　better　of　our　own　moods！

every　day　you　hear；　〃if　only　it　were　all　over！”

work；　love；　courage　and　hope；　make　me　good　and　help　me　cope！

i　really　believe；　kit；　that　im　a　little　nutty　today；　and　i　dont　know　why。　my　writings　all　mixed　up；　im　jump…　ing　from　one　thing　to　another；　and　sometimes　i　seriously　doubt　whether　anyone　will　ever　be　interested　in　this　drivel。　theyll　probably　call　it　〃the　musings　of　an　ugly　duckling。〃　my　diaries　certainly　wont　be　of　much　use　to　mr。

bolkestein　or　mr。　gerbrandy。　＇　gerrit　bolkestein　was　the　minister　of　education　and　pieter　gerbrandy　was　the　prime　minister　of　the　dutch　government　in　exile　in　london。

see　annes　letter　of　march　29；　1944。＇　yours；　anne　

m。　frank

saturday；　april　15；　1944

dearest　kitty；

〃theres　just　one　bad　thing　after　another。　when　will　it　all　end？〃　you　can　sure　say　that　again。　guess　whats　happened　now？　peter　forgot　to　unbolt　the　front　door。　as　a　result；　mr。　kugler　and　the　warehouse　employees　couldnt　get　in。　he　went　to　kegs；　smashed　in　our　office　kitchen　window　and　got　in　that　way。　the　windows　in　the　annex　were　open；　and　the　keg　people　saw　that　too。　what　must　they　be　thinking？　and　van　maaren？

mr。　kuglers　furious。　we　accuse　him　of　not　doing　anything　to　reinforce　the　doors；　and

then　we　do　a　stupid　thing　like　this！　peters　extremely　upset。　at　the　table；　mother　said　she　felt　more　sorry　for　peter　than　for　anyone　else；　and　he　nearly　began　to　cry。　were　equally　to　blame；　since　we　usually　ask　him　every　day　if　hes　unbolted　the　door；　and　so　does　mr。　van　daan。　maybe　i　can　go　fort　him　later　on。　i　want　to　help　him　so　much！

here　are　the　latest　news　bulletins　about　life　in　the　secret　annex　over　the　last　few　weeks：

a　week　ago　saturday；　boche　suddenly　got　sick。　he　sat　quite　still　and　started　drooling。

miep　immediately　picked　him　up；　rolled　him　in　a　towel；　tucked　him　in　her　shopping　bag　and　brought　him　to　the　dog…and…cat　clinic。　boche　had　some　kind　of　intestinal　problem；　so　the　vet　gave　him　medicine。　peter　gave　it　to　him　a　few　times；　but　boche　soon　made　himself　scarce。　ill　bet　he　was　out　courting　his　sweetheart。　but　now　his　nose　is　swollen　and　he　meows　whenever　you　pick　him　up…he　was　probably　trying　to　steal　food　and　somebody　smacked　him。　mouschi　lost　her　voice　for　a　few　days。　just　when　we　decided　she　had　to　be　taken　to　the　vet　too；　she　started　getting　better。

we　now　leave　the　attic　window　open　a　crack　every　night。　peter　and　i　often　sit　up　there　in　the　evening。

thanks　t