THE AMBER SPYGLASS-第35章

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n　the　slope　with　his　head　ringing。

iorek　came　down　slowly　to　where　will　was　struggling　up；　and　said；　〃answer　me　truthfully。〃

will　was　tempted　to　say；　〃you　wouldnt　have　done　that　if　id　had　the　knife　in　my　hand。〃　but　he　knew　that　iorek　knew　that；　and　knew　that　he　knew　it；　and　that　it　would　be　discourteous　and　stupid　to　say　it；　but　he　was　tempted；　all　the　same。

he　held　his　tongue　until　he　was　standing　upright；　facing　iorek　directly。

〃i　said　i　dont　know；〃　he　said；　trying　hard　to　keep　his　voice　calm；　〃because　i　havent　looked　clearly　at　what　it　is　that　im　going　to　do。　at　what　it　means。　it　frightens　me。　and　it　frightens　lyra；　too。　anyway；　i　agreed　as　soon　as　i　heard　what　she　said。〃

〃and　what　was　that？〃

〃we　want　to　go　down　to　the　land　of　the　dead　and　talk　to　the　ghost　of　lyras　friend　roger；　the　one　who

got　killed　on　svalbard。　and　if　there　really　is　a　world　of　the　dead；　then　my　father　will　be　there；　too；　and　if　we　can　talk　to　ghosts；　i　want　to　talk　to　him。

〃but　im　divided；　im　pulled　apart；　because　also　i　want　to　go　back　and　look　after　my　mother；　because　i　could；　and　also　the　angel　balthamos　told　me　i　should　go　to　lord　asriel　and　offer　the　knife　to　him；　and　i　think　maybe　he　was　right　as　well。。。〃

〃he　fled；〃　said　the　bear。

〃he　wasnt　a　warrior。　he　did　as　much　as　he　could；　and　then　he　couldnt　do　any　more。　he　wasnt　the　only　one　to　be　afraid；　im　afraid；　too。　so　i　have　to　think　it　through。　maybe　sometimes　we　dont　do　the　right　thing　because　the　wrong　thing　looks　more　dangerous；　and　we　dont　want　to　look　scared；　so　we　go　and　do　the　wrong　thing　just　because　its　dangerous。　were　more　concerned　with　not　looking　scared　than　with　judging　right。　its　very　hard。　thats　why　i　didnt　answer　you。〃

〃i　see；〃　said　the　bear。

they　stood　in　silence　for　what　felt　like　a　long　time；　especially　to　will；　who　had　little　protection　from　the　bitter　cold。　but　iorek　hadnt　finished　yet；　and　will　was　still　weak　and　dizzy　from　the　blow；　and　didnt　quite　trust　his　feet；　so　they　stayed　where　they　were。

〃well；　i　have　promised　myself　in　many　ways；〃　said　the　bear…king。　〃it　may　be　that　in　helping　you　i　have　brought　final　destruction　on　my　kingdom。　and　it　may　be　that　i　have　not；　and　that　destruction　was　ing　anyway；　maybe　i　have　held　it　off。　so　i　am　troubled；　having　to　do　un…bearlike　deeds　and　speculate　and　doubt　like　a　human。

〃and　i　shall　tell　you　one　thing。　you　know　it　already；　but　you　dont　want　to；　which　is　why　i　tell　you　openly；　so　that　you　dont　mistake　it。　if　you　want　to　succeed　in　this　task；　you　must　no　longer　think　about　your　mother。　you　must　put　her　aside。　if　your　mind　is　divided；　the　knife　will　break。

〃now　im　going　to　say　farewell　to　lyra。　you　must　wait　in　the　cave；　those　two　spies　will　not　let　you　out　of　their　sight；　and　i　do　not　want　them　listening　when　i　speak　to　her。〃

will　had　no　words；　though　his　breast　and　his　throat　were　full。　he　managed　to　say；　〃thank　you；　iorek　byrnison；〃　but　that　was　all　he　could　say。

he　walked　with　iorek　up　the　slope　toward　the　cave；　where　the　fire　glow　still　shone　warmly　in　the　vast　surrounding　dark。

there　iorek　carried　out　the　last　process　in　the　mending　of　the　subtle　knife。　he　laid　it　among　the　brighter　cinders　until　the　blade　was　glowing；　and　will　and　lyra　saw　a　hundred　colors　swirling　in　the　smoky　depths　of　the　metal；　and　when　he　judged　the　moment　was　right；　iorek　told　will　to　take　it　and　plunge　it　directly　into　the　snow　that　had　drifted　outside。

the　rosewood　handle　was　charred　and　scorched；　but　will　wrapped　his　hand　in　several　folds　of　a　shirt　and　did　as　iorek　told　him。　in　the　hiss　and　flare　of　steam；　he　felt　the　atoms　finally　settle　together；　and　he　knew　that　the　knife　was　as　keen　as　before；　the　point　as　infinitely　rare。

but　it　did　look　different。　it　was　shorter；　and　much　less　elegant；　and　there　was　a　dull　silver　surface　over　each　of　the　joins。　it　looked　ugly　now；　it　looked　like　what　it　was；　wounded。

when　it　was　cool　enough；　he　packed　it　away　in　the　rucksack　and　sat；　ignoring　the　spies；　to　wait　for　lyra　to　e　back。

iorek　had　taken　her　a　little　farther　up　the　slope；　to　a　point　out　of　sight　of　the　cave；　and　there　he　had　let　her　sit　cradled　in　the　shelter　of　his　great　arms；　with　pantalaimon　nestling　mouse…formed　at　her　breast。　iorek　bent　his　head　over　her　and　nuzzled　at　her　scorched　and　smoky　hands。　without　a　word　he　began　to　lick　them　clean；　his　tongue　was　soothing　on　the　burns；　and　she　felt　as　safe　as　she　had　ever　felt　in　her　life。

but　when　her　hands　were　free　of　soot　and　dirt；　iorek　spoke。　she　felt　his　voice　vibrate　against　her　back。

〃lyra　silvertongue；　what　is　this　plan　to　visit　the　dead？〃

〃it　came　to　me　in　a　dream；　iorek。　i　saw　rogers　ghost；　and　i　knew　he　was　calling　to　me。。。　you　remember

roger。　well；　after　we　left　you；　he　was　killed；　and　it　was　my　fault；　at　least　i　felt　it　was。　and　i　think　i　should　just　finish　what　i　began；　thats　all：　i　should　go　and　say　sorry；　and　if　i　can；　i　should　rescue　him　from　there。　if　will　can　open　a　way　to　the　world　of　the　dead；　then　we　must　do　it。〃

〃can　is　not　the　same　as　must。〃

〃but　if　you　must　and　you　can；　then　theres　no　excuse。〃

〃while　you　are　alive；　your　business　is　with　life。〃

〃no；　iorek；〃　she　said　gently；　〃our　business　is　to　keep　promises；　no　matter　how　difficult　they　are。　you　know；　secretly；　im　deadly　scared。　and　i　wish　id　never　had　that　dream；　and　i　wish　will　hadnt　thought　of　using　the　knife　to　go　there。　but　we　did；　so　we　cant　get　out　of　it。〃

lyra　felt　pantalaimon　trembling　and　stroked　him　with　her　sore　hands。

〃we　dont　know　how　to　get　there；　though；〃　she　went　on。　〃we　wont　know　anything　till　we　try。　what　are　you　going　to　do；　iorek？〃

〃im　going　back　north；　with　my　people。　we　cant　live　in　the　mountains。　even　the　snow　is　different。　i　thought　we　could　live　here；　but　we　can　live　more　easily　in　the　sea；　even　if　it　is　warm。

that　was　worth　learning。　and　besides；　i　think　we　will　be　needed。　i　can　feel　war；　lyra　silvertongue；　i　can　smell　it；　i　can　hear　it。　i　spoke　to　serafina　pekkala　before　i　came　this　way；　and　she　told　me　she　was　going　to　lord　faa　and　the　gyptians。　if　there　is　war；　we　shall　be　needed。〃

lyra　sat　up；　excited　at　hearing　the　names　of　her　old　friends。　but　iorek　hadnt　finished。　he　went　on：

〃if　you　do　not　find　a　way　out　of　the　world　of　the　dead；　we　shall　not　meet　again；　because　i　have　no　ghost。　my　body　will　remain　on　the　earth；　and　then　bee　part　of　it。　but　if　it　turns　out　that　you　and　i　both　survive；　then　you　will　always　be　a　wele　and　honored　visitor　to　svalbard；　and　the　same　is　true　of　will。　has　he　told　you　what　happened　when　we　met？〃

〃no；〃　said　lyra；　〃except　that　it　was　by　a　river。〃

〃he　outfaced　me。　i　thought　no　one　could　ever　do　that；　but　this　half…grown　boy　was　too　daring　for　me；　and　too　clever。　i　am　not　happy　that　you　should　do　what　you　plan；　but　there　is　no　one　i　would　trust　to　go　with　you　except　that　boy。　you　are　worthy　of　each　other。　go　well；　lyra　silvertongue；　my　dear　friend。〃

she　reached　up　and　put　her　arms　around　his　neck；　and　pressed　her　face　into　his　fur；　unable　to　speak。

after　a　minute　he　stood　up　gently　and　disengaged　her　arms；　and　then　he　turned　and　walked　silently　away　into　the　dark。　lyra　thought　his　outline　was　lost　almost　at　once　against　the　pallor　of　the　snow…covered　ground；　but　it　might　have　been　that　her　eyes　were　full　of　tears。

when　will　heard　her　footsteps　on　the　path；　he　looked　at　the　spies　and　said；　〃dont　you　move。　look；　heres　the　knife；　im　not　going　to　use　it。　stay　here。〃

he　went　outside　and　found　lyra　standing　still；　weeping；　with　pantalaimon　as　a　wolf　raising　his　face　to　the　black　sky。　she　was　quite　silent。　the　only　light　came　from　the　pale　reflection　in　the　snowbank　of　the　remains　of　the　fire；　and　that；　in　turn；　was　reflected　from　her　wet　cheeks；　and　her　tears　found　their　own　reflection　in　wills　eyes；　and　so　those　photons　wove　the　two　children　together　in　a　silent　web。

〃i　love　him　so　much；　will！〃　she　managed　to　whisper　shakily。　〃and　he　looked　old！　he　looked　hungry　and　old　and　sad。。。　is　it　all　ing　onto　us　now；　will？　we　cant　rely　on　anyone　else　now；　can　we。。。　its　just　us。　but　we　ent　old　enough　yet。　were　only　young。。。　were　too　young。。。　if　poor　mr。　scoresbys　dead　and　ioreks　old。。。　its　all　ing　onto　us；　whats　got　to　be　done。〃

〃we　can　do　it；〃　he　said。　〃im　not　going　to　look　back　anymore。　we　can　do　it。　but　weve　got　to　sleep　now；　and　if　we　stay　in　this　world；　those　gyropter　things　might　e；　the　ones　the　spies　sent　for。。。　im　going　to　cut　through　now　and　well　find　another　world　to　sleep　in；　and　if　the　spies　e　with　us；　thats　too　bad；　well　have　to　get　rid　of　them　another　time。〃

〃yes；〃　she　said；　and　sniffed　and　wiped　the　back　of　her　hand　across　her　nose　and　rubbed　her　eyes　with

both　palms。　〃lets　do　that。　you　sure　the　knife　will　work？　you　tested　it？〃

〃i　know　itll　work。〃

with　pantalaimon　tiger…formed　to　deter　the　spies；　they　hoped；　will　and　lyra　went　back　and　picked　up　their　rucksacks。

〃what　are　you　doing？〃　said　salmakia。

〃going　into　another　world；〃　said　will；　taking　out　the　knife。　it　felt　like　being　whole　again；　he　hadnt　realized　how　much　he　loved　it。

〃but　you　must　wait　for　lord　asriels　gyropters；〃　said　tialys；　his　voice　hard。

〃were　not　going　to；〃　said　will。　〃if　you　e　near　the　knife；　ill　kill　you。　e　through　with　us　if　you　must；　but　you　cant　make　us　stay　he