A Short History of Nearly Everything-第19章

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whatever　was　topical—hypnotism；　prison　reform；　therespiration　of　insects；　the　water　supply　of　paris。　it　was　in　such　a　capacity　in　1780　thatlavoisier　made　some　dismissive　remarks　about　a　new　theory　of　bustion　that　had　beensubmitted　to　the　academy　by　a　hopeful　young　scientist。　the　theory　was　indeed　wrong；　but　thescientist　never　forgave　him。　his　name　was　jean…paul　marat。

the　one　thing　lavoisier　never　did　was　discover　an　element。　at　a　time　when　it　seemed　as　ifalmost　anybody　with　a　beaker；　a　flame；　and　some　interesting　powders　could　discoversomething　new—and　when；　not　incidentally；　some　two…thirds　of　the　elements　were　yet　to　befound—lavoisier　failed　to　uncover　a　single　one。　it　certainly　wasn’t　for　want　of　beakers。

lavoisier　had　thirteen　thousand　of　them　in　what　was；　to　an　almost　preposterous　degree；　thefinest　private　laboratory　in　existence。

instead　he　took　the　discoveries　of　others　and　made　sense　of　them。　he　threw　out　phlogistonand　mephitic　airs。　he　identified　oxygen　and　hydrogen　for　what　they　were　and　gave　them　boththeir　modern　names。　in　short；　he　helped　to　bring　rigor；　clarity；　and　method　to　chemistry。

and　his　fancy　equipment　did　in　fact　e　in　very　handy。　for　years；　he　and　madamelavoisier　occupied　themselves　with　extremely　exacting　studies　requiring　the　finestmeasurements。　they　determined；　for　instance；　that　a　rusting　object　doesn’t　lose　weight；　aseveryone　had　long　assumed；　but　gains　weight—an　extraordinary　discovery。　somehow　as　itrusted　the　object　was　attracting　elemental　particles　from　the　air。　it　was　the　first　realization　thatmatter　can　be　transformed　but　not　eliminated。　if　you　burned　this　book　now；　its　matter　wouldbe　changed　to　ash　and　smoke；　but　the　net　amount　of　stuff　in　the　universe　would　be　the　same。

this　became　known　as　the　conservation　of　mass；　and　it　was　a　revolutionary　concept。

unfortunately；　it　coincided　with　another　type　of　revolution—the　french　one—and　for　this　onelavoisier　was　entirely　on　the　wrong　side。

not　only　was　he　a　member　of　the　hated　ferme　générale；　but　he　had　enthusiastically　builtthe　wall　that　enclosed　paris—an　edifice　so　loathed　that　it　was　the　first　thing　attacked　by　therebellious　citizens。　capitalizing　on　this；　in　1791　marat；　now　a　leading　voice　in　the　nationalassembly；　denounced　lavoisier　and　suggested　that　it　was　well　past　time　for　his　hanging。

soon　afterward　the　ferme　générale　was　shut　down。　not　long　after　this　marat　was　murderedin　his　bath　by　an　aggrieved　young　woman　named　charlotte　corday；　but　by　this　time　it　was　toolate　for　lavoisier。

in　1793；　the　reign　of　terror；　already　intense；　ratcheted　up　to　a　higher　gear。　in　octobermarie　antoinette　was　sent　to　the　guillotine。　the　following　month；　as　lavoisier　and　his　wifewere　making　tardy　plans　to　slip　away　to　scotland；　lavoisier　was　arrested。　in　may　he　andthirty…one　fellow　farmers…general　were　brought　before　the　revolutionary　tribunal　（in　acourtroom　presided　over　by　a　bust　of　marat）。　eight　were　granted　acquittals；　but　lavoisier　andthe　others　were　taken　directly　to　the　place　de　la　revolution　（now　the　place　de　la　concorde）；site　of　the　busiest　of　french　guillotines。　lavoisier　watched　his　father…in…law　beheaded；　thenstepped　up　and　accepted　his　fate。　less　than　three　months　later；　on　july　27；　robespierrehimself　was　dispatched　in　the　same　way　and　in　the　same　place；　and　the　reign　of　terrorswiftly　ended。

a　hundred　years　after　his　death；　a　statue　of　lavoisier　was　erected　in　paris　and　muchadmired　until　someone　pointed　out　that　it　looked　nothing　like　him。　under　questioning　thesculptor　admitted　that　he　had　used　the　head　of　the　mathematician　and　philosopher　the　marquisde　condorcet—apparently　he　had　a　spare—in　the　hope　that　no　one　would　notice　or；　havingnoticed；　would　care。　in　the　second　regard　he　was　correct。　the　statue　of　lavoisier…cum…condorcet　was　allowed　to　remain　in　place　for　another　half　century　until　the　second　worldwar　when；　one　morning；　it　was　taken　away　and　melted　down　for　scrap。

in　the　early　1800s　there　arose　in　england　a　fashion　for　inhaling　nitrous　oxide；　or　laughinggas；　after　it　was　discovered　that　its　use　“was　attended　by　a　highly　pleasurable　thrilling。”　forthe　next　half　century　it　would　be　the　drug　of　choice　for　young　people。　one　learned　body；　theaskesian　society；　was　for　a　time　devoted　to　little　else。　theaters　put　on　“laughing　gasevenings”　where　volunteers　could　refresh　themselves　with　a　robust　inhalation　and　thenentertain　the　audience　with　their　ical　staggerings。

it　wasn’t　until　1846　that　anyone　got　around　to　finding　a　practical　use　for　nitrous　oxide；　asan　anesthetic。　goodness　knows　how　many　tens　of　thousands　of　people　suffered　unnecessaryagonies　under　the　surgeon’s　knife　because　no　one　thought　of　the　gas’s　most　obvious　practicalapplication。

i　mention　this　to　make　the　point　that　chemistry；　having　e　so　far　in　the　eighteenthcentury；　rather　lost　its　bearings　in　the　first　decades　of　the　nineteenth；　in　much　the　way　thatgeology　would　in　the　early　years　of　the　twentieth。　partly　it　was　to　do　with　the　limitations　ofequipment—there　were；　for　instance；　no　centrifuges　until　the　second　half　of　the　century；severely　restricting　many　kinds　of　experiments—and　partly　it　was　social。　chemistry　was；generally　speaking；　a　science　for　businesspeople；　for　those　who　worked　with　coal　and　potashand　dyes；　and　not　gentlemen；　who　tended　to　be　drawn　to　geology；　natural　history；　and　physics。

（this　was　slightly　less　true　in　continental　europe　than　in　britain；　but　only　slightly。）　it　isperhaps　telling　that　one　of　the　most　important　observations　of　the　century；　brownian　motion；which　established　the　active　nature　of　molecules；　was　made　not　by　a　chemist　but　by　a　scottishbotanist；　robert　brown。　（what　brown　noticed；　in　1827；　was　that　tiny　grains　of　pollensuspended　in　water　remained　indefinitely　in　motion　no　matter　how　long　he　gave　them　tosettle。　the　cause　of　this　perpetual　motion—namely　the　actions　of　invisible　molecules—waslong　a　mystery。）things　might　have　been　worse　had　it　not　been　for　a　splendidly　improbable　character　namedcount　von　rumford；　who；　despite　the　grandeur　of　his　title；　began　life　in　woburn；massachusetts；　in　1753　as　plain　benjamin　thompson。　thompson　was　dashing　and　ambitious；“handsome　in　feature　and　figure；”　occasionally　courageous　and　exceedingly　bright；　butuntroubled　by　anything　so　inconveniencing　as　a　scruple。　at　nineteen　he　married　a　rich　widowfourteen　years　his　senior；　but　at　the　outbreak　of　revolution　in　the　colonies　he　unwisely　sidedwith　the　loyalists；　for　a　time　spying　on　their　behalf。　in　the　fateful　year　of　1776；　facing　arrest“for　lukewarmness　in　the　cause　of　liberty；”　he　abandoned　his　wife　and　child　and　fled　justahead　of　a　mob　of　anti…royalists　armed　with　buckets　of　hot　tar；　bags　of　feathers；　and　anearnest　desire　to　adorn　him　with　both。

he　decamped　first　to　england　and　then　to　germany；　where　he　served　as　a　military　advisorto　the　government　of　bavaria；　so　impressing　the　authorities　that　in　1791　he　was　named　countvon　rumford　of　the　holy　roman　empire。　while　in　munich；　he　also　designed　and　laid　out　thefamous　park　known　as　the　english　garden。

in　between　these　undertakings；　he　somehow　found　time　to　conduct　a　good　deal　of　solidscience。　he　became　the　world’s　foremost　authority　on　thermodynamics　and　the　first　toelucidate　the　principles　of　the　convection　of　fluids　and　the　circulation　of　ocean　currents。　healso　invented　several　useful　objects；　including　a　drip　coffeemaker；　thermal　underwear；　and　atype　of　range　still　known　as　the　rumford　fireplace。　in　1805；　during　a　sojourn　in　france；　hewooed　and　married　madame　lavoisier；　widow　of　antoine…laurent。　the　marriage　was　not　asuccess　and　they　soon　parted。　rumford　stayed　on　in　france；　where　he　died；　universallyesteemed　by　all　but　his　former　wives；　in　1814。

but　our　purpose　in　mentioning　him　here　is　that　in　1799；　during　a　paratively　briefinterlude　in　london；　he　founded　the　royal　institution；　yet　another　of　the　many　learnedsocieties　that　popped　into　being　all　over　britain　in　the　late　eighteenth　and　early　nineteenthcenturies。　for　a　time　it　was　almost　the　only　institution　of　standing　to　actively　promote　theyoung　science　of　chemistry；　and　that　was　thanks　almost　entirely　to　a　brilliant　young　mannamed　humphry　davy；　who　was　appointed　the　institution’s　professor　of　chemistry　shortlyafter　its　inception　and　rapidly　gained　fame　as　an　outstanding　lecturer　and　productiveexperimentalist。

soon　after　taking　up　his　position；　davy　began　to　bang　out　new　elements　one　afteranother—potassium；　sodium；　magnesium；　calcium；　strontium；　and　aluminum　or　aluminium；depending　on　which　branch　of　english　you　favor。

1he　discovered　so　many　elements　not　somuch　because　he　was　serially　astute　as　because　he　developed　an　ingenious　technique　ofapplying　electricity　to　a　molten　substance—electrolysis；　as　it　is　known。　altogether　hediscovered　a　dozen　elements；　a　fifth　of　the　known　total　of　his　day。　davy　might　have　done　farmore；　but　unfortunately　as　a　young　man　he　developed　an　abiding　attachment　to　the　buoyantpleasures　of　nitrous　oxide。　he　grew　so　attached　to　the　gas　that　he　drew　on　it　（literally）　three　orfour　times　a　day。　eventually；　in　1829；　it　is　thought　to　have　killed　him。

fortunately　more　sober　types　were　at　work　elsewhere。　in　1808；　a　dour　quaker　named　johndalton　became　the　first　person　to　intimate