And Now, And Here-第79章

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if　your　mother　fell　down　when　she　was　pregnant　with　you；　her　memory　of　that　fall；　that　hurt；　will　bee　part　of　your　memory　too。

or；　if　she　was　unhappy　at　the　time　you　were　in　her　womb；　her　memory　of　that　suffering　will　be　your　memory　as　well；　because　in　the　mothers　womb　the　states　of　your　being　and　hers　were　not　separate　……　they　were　bined。

hence；　deep　down　the　experience　that　your　mother　had　bees　your　experience　too　……　it　is　automatically　transferred　to　you。

during　pregnancy；　the　mothers　state　of　mind　plays　a　vital　role　in　the　formation　of　the　child。

in　the　right　sense　of　the　meaning；　one　is　not　a　mother　just　because　she　has　carried　a　child　in　her　womb；　she　is　also　a　mother　because　she　has　given　a　special　direction　to　the　childs　consciousness。

even　a　female　animal　is　able　to　carry　a　baby　in　her　stomach　……　all　animals　do　it。

sooner　or　later　machines　will　do　it　as　well。

it　is　not　too　difficult　to　imagine　babies　growing　in　a　machine。

an　artificial　womb　can　certainly　be　created。

the　same　system　that　exists　in　the　mothers　womb　can　be　created　in　a　machine　run　by　electricity。

a　system　with　the　same　degree　of　heat；　the　same　amount　of　water；　can　be　produced。

and　sooner　or　later；　instead　of　growing　babies　in　a　mothers　womb；　they　will　be　placed　and　grown　in　a　mechanical　womb。

but　that　will　not　be　enough　to　meet　the　requirement　of　motherhood。

perhaps　very　few　mothers　on　this　earth　have　fulfilled　the　role　of　motherhood。

its　a　herculean　task　to　be　a　mother。

and　the　task　is；　for　nine　months　giving　the　childs　consciousness　a　specific　direction。

during　these　nine　months；　if　the　mother　stays　angry

and　when　she　gives　birth　to　an　angry　child；　when　he　behaves　angrily；　she　scolds　him；　rebukes　him；　and　wonders　who　has　spoiled　him；　what　bad　pany　he　must　have　fallen　into。

mothers　e　to　me　plaining　about　their　sons　and　daughters　having　fallen　into　bad　pany。

but　they　dont　realize　that　they　are　the　ones　who　have　sown　the　seeds　of　their　childrens　wrongdoings。

they　alone　are　responsible　for　building　their　consciousness　……　children　are　simply　manifesting　it。

of　course；　sowing　the　seed　and　its　manifestation　are　two　different　phenomena。

we　dont　see　the　connection　between　the　two　because　an　enormous　gap　exists　in　between。

emile　coue　has　written　an　anecdote　in　his　biography。

he　says　a　friend　of　his；　a　major　in　the　army；　was　once　reading　a　book　on　hypnosis。

somewhere　in　the　book　it　was　mentioned　that　when　a　child　is　in　the　womb；　whatever　impressions　the　mother　may　receive　are　automatically　transferred　to　the　child。

his　wife　was　pregnant　at　that　time。

he　told　her；　〃the　author　of　this　book　says；　whatsoever　a　mother　thinks；　whatever　she　feels；　whatever　she　lives　……　all　of　that　is　directly　transferred　to　the　child。

〃　they　both　laughed　and　took　no　serious　note　of　it。

that　evening　they　were　invited　to　a　party　in　honor　of　a　general。

by　coincidence；　the　majors　wife　sat　next　to　the　general　at　the　dining　table。

the　generals　thumb　was　squashed　during　the　war。

the　majors　wife　suddenly　remembered　what　her　husband　had　read　to　her　that　afternoon。

afraid　that　her　child　may　be　born　with　a　deformed　thumb；　she　tried　deliberately　not　to　see　the　generals　thumb。

throughout　the　party　she　avoided　the　generals　thumb；　but　the　more　she　tried　not　to　look　at　it　the　more　her　eyes　wandered　toward　that　thumb。

she　forgot　the　general；　she　forgot　the　party；　her　whole　attention　remained　focused　on　the　thumb。

since　she　was　sitting　next　to　the　general；　she　saw　the　thumb　as　he　ate；　as　he　shook　hands　with　people。

it　got　so　bad　that　she　even　shut　her　eyes；　but　by　shutting　her　eyes　she　saw　the　thumb　even　more　clearly。

it　is　easier　to　see　things　clearly　with　closed　eyes。

she　pletely　freaked　out。

as　long　as　the　party　lasted；　the　poor　woman　remained　totally　obsessed　with　the　generals　thumb。

at　night；　she　woke　up　with　a　start　several　times。

in　the　morning　she　said　to　her　husband；　〃i　am　in　trouble。

i　am　very　much　afraid　my　child　will　be　born　with　a　deformed　thumb。

〃　

consoling　her；　the　husband　said；　〃are　you　crazy？　whats　in　a　book？　do　you　believe　something　will　happen　just　because　it　was　written　by　somebody？　drop　the　whole　thing　from　your　mind！〃　but　the　wife　couldnt　drop　it。

the　fact　is；　the　very　thing　we　are　asked　to　drop　bees　difficult　to　let　go　of。

the　more　the　husband　tried　to　persuade　her　to　drop　the　thing　and　forget　about　it；　the　more　it　became　crystallized。

you　know　very　well　……　that　which　you　want　to　forget；　you　never　can。

in　fact　in　the　very　attempt　of　forgetting　you　have　to　keep　remembering　it　……　just　to　forget　it。

it　keeps　ing　back　to　your　mind。

if　you　really　want　to　forget　something；　you　will　at　least　have　to　remember　it。

and　in　order　to　forget；　the　more　you　will　need　to　remember　it　the　stronger　that　memory　bees。

as　the　days　passed　and　the　time　of　the　childs　birth　drew　closer；　the　thumb　began　to　weigh　heavily　on　her　mind。

no　matter　how　much　she　tried；　she　couldnt　forget　it。

as　she　went　through　labor　pains；　as　the　child　was　taking　birth；　the　thumb　was　in　her　thoughts　……　not　the　child。

and　an　incredible　thing　happened：　the　child　was　born　with　a　deformed　thumb。

when　the　photographs　of　the　childs　and　the　generals　thumbs　were　pared；　they　looked　identical。

it　was　the　mother　who　gave　this　thumb　to　the　child。

like　this；　all　mothers　give　their　own　thumbs；　their　own　disorders　to　their　children。

everyone　has　different　kinds　of　thumbs；　disorders　which　have　been　given　to　them。

so　first；　you　will　have　to　go　back　in　your　memory　to　the　day　you　were　born　……　but　that　is　not　your　real　birthday。

the　actual　birthday　is　the　day　a　child　is　conceived。

what　we　call　the　birthday　is　in　fact　the　day　which　falls　nine　months　after　the　birth　has　happened　……　it　is　not　the　right　birthday。

the　day　the　soul　enters　the　mothers　womb　is　indeed　the　correct　birthday。

it　is　neither　difficult　nor　dangerous　to　go　back　in　memory　this　far；　because　it　pertains　to　this　very　life。

and　in　order　to　do　that；　as　i　mentioned　earlier；　you　need　to　turn　the　mind　away　from　the　future。

those　who　practice　even　a　little　bit　of　meditation　will　have　no　difficulty　forgetting　about　the　future。

and　what　is　there　to　remember　in　the　future　anyway？　in　fact；　there　is　no　future。

so　the　direction　has　to　be　changed。

instead　of　looking　at　the　future；　look　in　the　past；　and　go　on　making　your　resolve　stronger　and　stronger　in　your　mind。

turn　one　year　back；　two　years　back；　ten；　twenty　years　back；　keep　moving　backward　and　you　will　have　a　strange　experience。

ordinarily；　if　we　go　back　into　our　past　without　meditation；　even　in　a　conscious　state；　the　further　we　go　back　the　hazier　the　memories　will　bee。

someone　may　find　it　impossible　to　recall　anything　beyond　the　age　of　five；　and　even　up　to　five　the　memories　may　be　few　and　far　between。

as　you　draw　closer　and　closer　to　your　present　age；　your　memories　will　bee　more　and　more　clear。

you　will　have　a　clear　memory　of　yesterday；　your　memory　of　today　will　be　even　more　clear。

but　your　memory　of　the　day　before　yesterday；　that　of　a　year　back；　or　that　of　twenty…five　or　fifty　years　back　will　be　increasingly　hazier　and　hazier。

but　if　you　apply　the　same　technique　in　the　state　of　meditation；　you　will　be　greatly　surprised。

the　situation　will　be　totally　the　reverse。

as　you　will　draw　closer　to　the　childhood　memories；　the　clearer　they　will　be；　because　the　minds　slate　is　never　so　clear　as　it　is　during　the　childhood；　the　writing　on　it　is　never　so　clear　after　that。

so　you　will　have　a　big　surprise　reviving　memories　in　meditation；　because　the　situation　will　be　reversed。

the　more　you　will　move　backward；　drawing　closer　to　childhood；　the　more　transparent　will　be　the　memory。

and　as　you　will　grow　older　in　your　memory；　the　more　hazy　everything　will　look。

in　meditation；　today　will　look　the　foggiest；　while　the　first　day　of　birth；　fifty　years　ago　for　example；　will　be　the　clearest　day　in　memory。

returning　to　the　past　memories　in　meditation　is　not　remembering。

you　must　understand　the　difference。

when　we　remember　consciously；　we　are　remembering。

how　is　this　different？　when　you　remember　your　childhood　……　and　you　are　now　fifty　years　old；　for　example　……　you　are　fifty　now；　at　this　moment；　and　you　revive　the　memory　when　you　were　five　years　old；　or　two　years　old；　or　one　year　old；　what　happens？　your　fifty…year…old　mind　stands　in　between　this　moment　and　the　memory　of　those　years。

the　memories　bee　hazy　because　you　are　looking　through　the　layers　of　fifty　years　spread　in　between。

when　you　remember　the　past　following　the　technique　of　meditation；　you　no　longer　remain　fifty　years　old；　you　bee　five　years　old。

in　meditation　you　remember　as　a　five…year…old　child。

at　that　moment　you　are　not　a　fifty…year…old　man　remembering　the　days　when　you　were　five　years　old。

you　go　back　to　the　fifth　year　of　your　life。

so　when　we　recall　memories　consciously　we　should　call　it　remembering；　whereas　the　same　in　meditation　is　reliving。

and　there　is　a　difference　between　the　two。

in　remembering　you　face　great　layers　of　memories　which　make　everything　fuzzy。

in　meditation；　reliving　the　memory　turns　you　into　a　five…year…old。

shobhana