And Now, And Here-第35章

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th　is　on　the　circumference；　life　is　at　the　center。

if　we　dont　even　know　the　circumference；　how　will　we　ever　know　the　center？　and　if　we　run　away　from　the　circumference；　we　will　never　reach　closer　to　the　center。

if　you　bee　frightened　of　the　walls　that　make　up　the　outer　limits　of　a　house；　and　escape；　how　will　you　ever　enter　the　inner　dwelling？　death　is　the　periphery　and　life　is　the　temple　at　the　center　of　it。

by　running　away　from　the　periphery；　we　also　run　away　from　life。

one　who　es　to　know　death　will；　by　and　by；　uncover　it　and　begin　to　understand　life　as　well。

death　is　the　gateway　to　knowing　life。

eluding　death　is　eluding　life　as　well。

so　when　i　say　〃know　death；〃　recognize　the　facts　……　i　am　not　asking　you　to　think。

there　is　one　more　interesting　thing　that　needs　to　be　understood。

thinking　means　to　repeat；　in　the　mind；　what　we　already　know。

thinking　is　never　original　……　although　we　ordinarily　say　that　such…and…such　a　persons　thoughts　are　highly　original。

no；　thought　is　never　original。

thoughts　can　never　be　original。

darshan；　seeing；　can　be　original。

thoughts　are　always　stale。

if　i　ask　you　to　think　about　this　roseflower；　what　will　you　think？　you　will　simply　reiterate　what　you　already　know　about　a　rose。

what　else　would　you　do？　what　else　can　you　do　with　thinking？　could　even　one　single　unheard…of　and　original　viewpoint　about　a　rose　ever　appear　in　your　thoughts？　how　can　it？　

thinking　is　nothing　but　reiterating　a　thought。

you　may　say；　〃the　roseflower　is　very　beautiful；〃　but　how　many　times　have　you　heard　this　before？　how　many　times　have　you　read　this　before？　or　you　may　say；　〃the　roseflower　is　just　as　beautiful　as　the　face　of　my　beloved。

〃　how　many　times　have　you　heard　this　before　too？　how　many　times　have　you　read　it　before？　or　you　may　say；　〃the　flower　is　very　fresh〃　……　but　this　too；　how　many　times　have　you　heard　or　read　it　before？　what　good　are　thoughts？　how　will　you　be　able　to　enter　the　being　of　that　roseflower　by　thinking　about　it？　thinking　can　only　lead　you　into　whatsoever　is　in　your　memory　about　a　rose。

thats　why　thinking　is　never　original。

there　can　never　be　an　original　thinker　……　only　seers　are　original。

the　first　condition　in　looking　at　a　roseflower　is　that　the　person　looking　at　it　should　not　think。

he　should　remove　thoughts　from　his　memory；　he　should　bee　empty；　and　live　in　that　moment　with　the　flower。

let　the　roseflower　be　on　one　side　and　you　be　on　the　other；　and　let　there　be　no　one　between　you　……　nothing　youve　ever　heard；　nothing　youve　ever　read；　nothing　youve　ever　known。

nothing　youve　ever　experienced　should　be　in　between。

no　one　should　be　between　you　two。

only　then；　the　unknown　seated　within　the　rose　will　begin　to　enter　your　being。

finding　no　hindrance　in　between；　it　will　enter；　and　then　you　wont　feel　you　want　to　know　the　rose；　you　will　feel　you　are　one　with　the　rose。

then　you　will　know　the　flower　from　its　interiority。

a　seer　penetrates　inside　an　object；　while　a　thinker　hovers　around　it　on　the　outside　……　and　therefore　a　thinker　has　no　achievement　of　his　own；　only　a　seer　enjoys　achievement。

a　seer　penetrates　within　because　there　remains　no　wall　between　him　and　the　object　before　him　……　the　wall　crumbles；　disappears。

once　kabir　asked　his　son　kamal　to　go　to　the　forest　and　bring　some　hay　for　their　cattle。

kamal　went　as　he　was　told。

it　was　morning　when　he　left；　but　when　the　sun　was　overhead　and　kamal　had　not　yet　returned；　kabir　became　worried。

and　even　by　the　waning　hours　of　afternoon　there　was　no　sign　of　kamal。

kabir　grew　even　more　worried。

soon　it　was　evening　and　the　sun　was　about　to　set；　so　finally；　acpanied　by　a　few　of　his　devotees；　kabir　set　out　in　search　of　kamal。

when　they　reached　the　forest　they　found　kamal　standing　in　the　middle　of　the　thick　grass；　his　eyes　closed；　swaying　like　a　blade　of　grass　in　the　breeze。

kabir　went　over；　shook　him；　and　asked；　〃what　are　you　doing　here？〃　kamal　opened　his　eyes。

he　came　to　himself；　realized　what　had　happened；　and　immediately　apologized。

kabir　said；　〃but　what　have　you　been　doing　for　so　long？　its　so　late！〃　

kamal　answered；　〃i　am　sorry；　but　when　i　came　here；　instead　of　cutting　the　grass　i　began　to　look　at　it。

and　just　looking　at　it　continuously；　i　dont　know　when；　but　i　also　became　a　blade　of　grass。

soon　it　was　evening；　and　here　i　was；　pletely　oblivious　that　i　am　kamal　who　has　e　here　to　cut　grass。

i　became　the　grass　itself。

there　was　so　much　joy　in　being　the　grass；　joy　that；　being　kamal；　i　never　had　before。

its　good　you　came；　because　i　didnt　know　what　was　happening。

the　breeze　was　not　moving　the　grass；　the　breeze　was　moving　me　……　the　cutter　and　that　which　was　to　be　cut　had　both　disappeared。

〃　

have　you　ever　seen　your　wife；　your　son；　with　whom　you　have　lived　for　so　many　years？　have　you　ever　seen　them？　the　things　your　wife　did　yesterday　flash　through　your　mind　……　and　a　thought　es　in　between　you　and　her。

you　recall　how　she　quarreled　when　you　were　about　to　leave　for　the　office　in　the　morning　……　and　again　the　thought　is　present　between　you。

what　she　said　at　the　dinner　table　es　back　to　you　……　and　the　thought　stands　between　you。

you　have　always　thought；　you　have　never　seen。

and　thats　the　reason　there　is　no　relationship　between　husband　and　wife；　between　father　and　son；　between　mother　and　son。

relationship　happens　where　thought　is　no　more　and　where　darshan；　seeing；　has　begun。

that　is　really　when　a　relationship　takes　place；　because　then　no　one　exists　to　disrupt　it。

remember；　a　relationship　does　not　mean　there　is　a　third　factor　binding　the　two。

as　long　as　there　is　something　in　between　to　bind　the　two；　the　disrupter　is　also　present。

that　which　binds　also　breaks。

the　day　nothing　exists　to　bind；　when　only　two　remain；　when　nothing　remains　in　between；　that　day　what　actually　remains　is　only　one；　then　there　are　not　two。

a　relationship　does　not　mean　we　are　joined　with　somebody；　a　relationship　means　that　now　nothing　exists　between　you　and　the　other　person；　there　is　no　one　in　between　……　not　even　to　join　you。

there；　the　two　streams　disappear　and　merge　into　each　other。

this　is　love。

seeing　leads　you　into　love；　seeing　is　the　source　of　love。

and　one　who　has　not　loved　has　never　known　anything。

no　matter　what　a　man　may　have　set　out　to　know；　he　has　only　known　it　through　love。

so　when　i　say　death　has　to　be　known；　i　mean　we　will　have　to　love　death　as　well。

we　will　have　to　see　death。

but　the　man　who　is　afraid　of　death；　who　is　eluding　it　……　how　can　he　love　death；　how　can　he　have　its　darshan；　how　can　he　ever　see　death？　when　death　appears　before　him；　he　turns　his　back　on　it。

he　shuts　his　eyes；　he　never　lets　death　appear　before　him；　face…to…face。

he　is　afraid；　he　is　frightened；　thats　why　he　is　unable　to　see　death　at　all；　nor　is　he　able　to　love　it。

and　the　man　who　hasnt　been　able　to　love　death　yet；　how　will　he　ever　love　life？　……　because　death　is　a　very　superficial　event　and　life　is　a　far　deeper　phenomenon。

one　who　turned　away　from　the　very　first　step；　how　will　he　ever　reach　the　deep　waters　of　the　well？　

thats　why　i　say　death　will　have　to　be　lived；　it　will　have　to　be　known；　it　will　have　to　be　seen。

you　will　have　to　fall　in　love　with　it；　you　will　have　to　look　into　its　eyes。

and　as　soon　as　a　man　looks　into　deaths　eyes；　begins　to　watch　it；　penetrate　into　it；　he　feels　astounded。

to　his　great　amazement；　he　realizes；　〃what　a　great　mystery　lies　hidden　in　death！　what　i　knew　as　death　and　kept　running　away　from；　actually　conceals　within　itself　the　source　of　supreme　life。

〃　hence　i　say　to　you：　enter　into　death　willingly　so　that　you　may　reach　life。

there　is　an　incredible　saying　of　jesus。

jesus　has　said；　〃the　one　who　will　save　himself　will　perish；　and　the　one　who　will　efface　himself　……　no　one　can　ever　destroy　him。

one　who　will　lose　himself　shall　find；　and　one　who　will　save　himself　shall　be　lost。

〃　if　a　seed　wishes　to　save　itself；　it　will　rot　……　what　else？　and　if　a　seed　annihilates　itself　in　the　earth；　disappears；　it　will　bee　a　tree。

the　death　of　the　seed　bees　life　for　the　tree。

if　the　seed　were　to　protect　itself　by　saying；　〃i　am　scared。

i　could　die。

i　dont　want　to　disappear。

why　should　i　disappear？〃　then　the　seed　is　bound　to　rot。

in　that　case；　it　will　not　even　remain　a　seed；　let　alone　grow　into　a　tree。

we　shrink　with　fear　of　death。

i　would　like　to　say　one　more　thing　that　may　not　have　occurred　to　you　before。

only　one　who　is　afraid　of　death　has　ego；　because　ego　means　a　constricted　personality；　a　solid　knot。

one　who　has　fear　of　death　shrinks　within。

anyone　in　fear　has　to　shrink　inside；　and　whatever　shrinks　turns　into　a　knot。

a　plex　is　created　inside　the　person。

the　feeling　of　i　is　the　feeling　of　a　man　afraid　of　death。

the　man　who　penetrates　death；　who　is　not　afraid　of　death；　who　does　not　run　away　from　it；　who　begins　to　live　it　……　his　i　disappears；　his　ego　disappears。

and　when　the　ego　disappears　only　life　remains。

we　can　put　it　this　way：　only　the　ego　dies；　not　the　soul。

but　since　we　continue　to　remain　egos；　a　great　difficulty　is　created。

in　fact；　only　the　ego　can　die；　only　the　ego　has　a　death　……　because　it　is　false。

it　will　have　to　die。

but　we　are　holding　on