And Now, And Here-第12章

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one　can　penetrate　these　memories　too；　reaching　to　the　point　of　conception；　to　the　moment　when　the　genes　of　the　mother　and　father　unite　and　the　soul　enters。

a　man　can　enter　into　his　past　lives　only　after　having　reached　this　point；　he　cannot　move　into　them　directly。

one　has　to　undertake　this　much　of　the　return　journey；　only　then　is　it　possible　to　move　into　ones　past　life　as　well。

after　having　entered　the　past　life；　the　first　memory　to　e　up　will　be　of　the　last　event　that　took　place　in　that　life。

remember；　however；　that　this　will　cause　some　difficulty　and　will　make　little　sense。

it　is　as　if　we　run　a　film　from　the　end　or　read　a　novel　backwards　……　we　feel　lost。

and　so；　entering　into　ones　past　life　for　the　first　time　will　be　quite　confusing　because　the　sequence　of　events　will　be　in　the　reverse　order。

as　you　go　back　into　your　past　life；　you　will　e　across　death　first；　then　old　age；　youth；　childhood；　and　then　birth。

it　will　be　in　reverse　order；　and　in　that　order　it　will　be　very　difficult　to　figure　out　what　is　what。

so　when　the　memory　surfaces　for　the　first　time；　you　feel　tremendously　restless　and　troubled；　because　it　is　difficult　to　make　sense；　it　is　as　if　you　are　looking　at　a　film　or　reading　a　novel　from　the　end。

perhaps　you　will　only　make　heads　or　tails　of　an　event　after　rearranging　the　order　several　times。

so　the　greatest　effort　involved　in　going　back　to　the　memories　of　ones　past　life　is　seeing；　in　reverse　order；　events　which　ordinarily　take　place　in　the　right　order。

but；　after　all；　what　is　the　right　or　reverse　order？　it　is　just　a　question　of　how　we　entered　the　world　and　how　we　departed　from　it。

we　sow　a　seed　in　the　beginning；　and　the　flower　appears　in　the　end。

however；　if　one　were　to　take　a　reverse　look　at　this　phenomenon；　the　flower　would　e　first；　followed　in　sequence　by　the　bud；　the　plant；　the　leaves；　the　saplings　and　in　the　end　the　seed。

since　we　have　no　previous　knowledge　of　this　reverse　order；　it　takes　a　lot　of　time　to　rearrange　memories　coherently　and　to　figure　out　the　nature　of　events　clearly。

the　strangest　thing　is　that　death　will　e　first；　followed　by　old　age；　illness；　and　then　youth；　things　will　occur　in　the　reverse　order。

or；　if　you　were　married　and　then　divorced；　while　going　down　memory　lane　the　divorce　will　e　first；　followed　by　the　love　and　then　the　marriage。

it　will　be　extremely　difficult　to　follow　events　in　this　regressive　fashion；　because　normally　we　understand　things　in　a　one…dimensional　way。

our　minds　are　one…dimensional。

to　look　at　things　in　opposite　order　is　very　difficult　……　we　are　not　used　to　such　an　experience；　we　are　accustomed　to　moving　in　a　linear　direction。

with　effort；　however；　one　can　understand　the　events　of　a　past　life　by　following；　in　sequence；　the　reverse　order。

surely；　it　will　be　an　incredible　experience。

going　through　memories　in　this　reverse　order　will　be　a　very　amazing　experience；　because　seeing　the　divorce　first　and　then　the　love　and　then　the　marriage；　will　make　it　instantly　clear　that　the　divorce　was　inevitable　……　the　divorce　was　inherent　in　the　kind　of　love　that　happened；　the　divorce　was　the　only　ultimate　possible　oute　of　the　kind　of　marriage　that　took　place。

but　at　the　time　of　that　past　life　marriage　we　hadnt　the　faintest　idea　it　would　eventually　end　in　divorce。

and　indeed；　the　divorce　was　the　result　of　that　marriage。

if　we　could　see　this　whole　thing　in　its　entirety；　then　falling　in　love　today　would　bee　a　totally　different　thing　……　because　now　we　could　see　the　divorce　in　it　beforehand；　now　we　could　see　the　enmity　around　the　corner　even　before　making　the　friendship。

the　memory　of　the　past　life　will　pletely　turn　this　life　upside…down；　because　now　you　wont　be　able　to　live　the　way　you　lived　in　your　past　life。

in　your　previous　life　you　felt　……　and　the　same　feeling　exists　even　now　……　that　success　and　great　happiness　were　to　be　found　by　making　a　fortune。

what　you　will　see　first　in　your　previous　life　is　your　state　of　unhappiness　before　seeing　how　you　made　the　fortune。

this　will　clearly　show　that　instead　of　being　a　source　of　happiness；　making　the　fortune　led；　in　fact；　to　unhappiness　……　and　friendship　led　to　enmity；　what　was　thought　to　be　love　turned　into　hatred；　and　what　was　considered　a　union　resulted　in　separation。

then；　for　the　first　time；　you　will　see　things　in　their　right　perspective；　with　their　total　import。

and　this　implication　will　change　your　life；　will　change　the　way　you　are　living　now　pletely　……　it　will　be　an　entirely　different　situation。

i　have　heard　that　a　man　went　to　a　monk　and　said；　〃i　would　be　much　obliged　if　you　would　accept　me　as　your　disciple。

〃　the　monk　refused。

the　man　asked　why　he　would　not　make　him　his　disciple。

the　monk　replied；　〃in　my　previous　birth　i　had　disciples　who　later　turned　into　enemies。

i　have　seen　the　whole　thing　and　now　i　know　that　to　make　disciples　means　to　make　enemies；　to　make　friends　means　to　sow　the　seeds　of　enmity。

now　i　dont　want　to　make　any　enemies；　so　i　dont　make　any　friends。

i　have　known　that　to　be　alone　is　enough。

drawing　someone　close　to　you　is；　in　a　way；　pushing　the　person　away　from　you。

〃　

buddha　has　said　that　the　meeting　with　the　beloved　brings　joy　and　the　parting　of　the　unbeloved　also　brings　joy；　that　the　parting　of　the　beloved　brings　sorrow　and　the　meeting　with　the　unbeloved　brings　sorrow　as　well。

this　is　how　it　was　perceived；　this　is　how　it　was　understood。

however；　later　we　e　to　understand　that　the　one　we　feel　is　our　beloved　can　bee　the　unbeloved；　and　the　one　we　considered　the　unbeloved　can　bee　a　beloved。

and　so；　with　the　recollection　of　past　memories；　the　existing　situations　will　change　radically；　they　will　be　seen　in　an　entirely　different　perspective。

such　recollections　are　possible；　though　neither　necessary　nor　inevitable；　and　sometimes；　in　meditation；　these　memories　may　strike　unexpectedly　as　well。

if　the　memories　of　past　lives　ever　do　e　all　of　a　sudden　……　without　being　involved　in　any　experiment；　but　simply　keeping　on　with　ones　meditation　……　dont　take　much　interest　in　them。

just　look　at　them；　be　a　witness　to　them　……　because　ordinarily　the　mind　is　incapable　of　bearing　such　vast　turbulence　all　at　once。

attempting　to　cope　with　it；　there　is　a　distinct　possibility　of　going　mad。

once　a　girl　was　brought　to　me。

she　was　about　eleven　years　old。

unexpectedly；　she　had　remembered　three　of　her　past　lives。

she　had　not　experimented　with　anything；　but　often；　for　some　reason　mistakes　do　happen　all　of　a　sudden。

this　was　an　error　on　the　part　of　nature；　not　its　grace　upon　her；　in　some　way　nature　had　erred　in　her　case。

it　is　the　same　as　if　someone　had　three　eyes；　or　four　arms　……　this　is　an　error。

four　arms　would　be　much　weaker　than　two　arms；　four　arms　couldnt　work　as　effectively　as　two　arms　could　……　four　arms　would　make　the　body　weaker；　not　stronger。

so　the　girl；　eleven　years　old；　remembered　three　past　lives；　and　many　inquiries　were　made　into　this　case。

in　her　previous　life　she　had　lived　about　eighty　miles　from　my　present　residence；　and　in　that　life　she　died　at　the　age　of　sixty。

the　people　she　lived　with　then　are　now　the　residents　of　my　hometown；　and　she　could　recognize　all　of　them。

even　in　a　crowd　of　thousands；　she　could　recognize　her　past　relatives　……　her　own　brother；　her　daughters；　and　her　grandchildren　……　from　the　daughters；　from　the　sons…in…law。

she　could　recognize　her　distant　relatives　and　tell　many　things　about　them　even　they　had　forgotten。

her　elder　brother　is　still　alive。

on　his　head　there　is　a　scar　from　a　small　injury。

i　asked　the　girl　if　she　knew　anything　about　that　scar。

the　girl　laughed　and　said；　〃even　my　brother　doesnt　know　about　it。

let　him　tell　you　how　and　when　he　got　that　injury。

〃　the　brother　could　not　recall　when　the　injury　occurred；　he　had　no　idea　at　all；　he　said。

the　girl　said；　〃on　the　day　of　his　wedding；　my　brother　fell　while　he　was　mounting　the　marriage　horse。

he　was　ten　years　old　then。

〃　the　elderly　people　in　the　town　supported　her　story；　admitting　that　the　brother　had；　indeed；　fallen　from　the　horse。

and　the　man　himself　had　no　recollection　of　this　event。

then；　as　well；　the　girl　displayed　a　treasure　she　had　buried　in　the　house　she　had　lived　in　during　her　previous　life。

in　her　last　birth　she　died　at　the　age　of　sixty；　and　previous　to　that　birth　she　had　been　born　in　a　village　somewhere　in　assam。

then　she　had　died　at　the　age　of　seven。

she　could　not　give　the　village　name；　nor　her　address；　but　she　could　speak　as　much　of　the　assamese　language　as　a　seven…year…old　child　could。

also；　she　could　dance　and　sing　like　a　seven…year…old　girl　could。

many　inquiries　were　made；　but　her　family　from　that　life　could　not　be　traced。

the　girl　has　a　past…life　experience　of　sixty…seven　years　plus　eleven　years　of　this　life。

you　can　see　in　her　eyes　the　resemblance　to　a　seventy…five　to　seventy…eight…year…old　woman；　although　she　is　actually　eleven　years　old。

she　cannot　play　with　children　of　her　own　age　because　she　feels　too　old。

within　her　she　carries　the　memory　of　seventy…eight　years；　she　sees　herself　as　a　seventy…eight…year…old　woman。

she　cannot　go　to　school　because；　although　she　is　eleven；　she　can　easily　look　upon　her　teacher　as　her　son。