阿甘正传(英文版)-第9章

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plain　that　you　is　dumb　or　stupid　like　coaches　do—　they　is　more　interested　in　your　private　parts

or　bowel　movements；　an　so　always　precede　they　yellin　with　somethin　like　〃dickhead〃　or

〃asshole。〃　sometimes　i　wonder　if　curtis　had　been　in　the　army　before　he　went　to　play　football。



anyhow；　after　about　a　hundrit　hours　on　the　bus　we　get　to　fort　benning；　georgia；　an　all　i'；m

thinkin　is　35　to　3；　the　score　when　we　whupped　them　georgia　dogs。　the　conditions　in　the　barracks

is　actually　a　little　better　than　they　was　in　the　ape　dorm；　but　the　food　is　not—　it　is　terrible；　altho

there　is　a　lot　of　it。



other　than　that；　it　was　just　doin　what　they　tole　us　an　gettin　yelled　at　in　the　months　to　e。

they　taught　us　to　shoot　guns；　thow　hand　grenades　an　crawl　aroun　on　our　bellies。　when　we　wadn'；t

doin　that　we　was　either　runnin　someplace　or　cleanin　toilets　an　things。　the　one　thing　i　remember

from　fort　benning　is　that　they　didn'；t　seem　to　be　nobody　much　smarter　than　i　was；　which　was

certainly　a　relief。



not　too　long　after　i　arrive；　i　get　put　on　kp；　on　account　of　i　have　accidentally　shot　a　hole　in

the　water　tower　when　we　was　down　at　the　rifle　range。　when　i　get　to　the　kitchen；　it　seems　the　cook

is　took　sick　or　somethin；　an　somebody　point　to　me　an　say；　〃gump；　you　is　gonna　be　the　cook

today。〃



〃what　i'；m　gonna　cook？〃　i　axed。　〃i　ain'；t　never　cooked　before。〃



〃who　cares；〃　somebody　say。　〃this　ain'；t　the　sans　souci；　y'；know。〃



〃why　don'；t　you　make　a　stew？〃　somebody　else　say。　〃it'；s　easier。〃



〃what　of？〃　i　axed。



〃look　in　the　icebox　an　the　pantry；〃　the　feller　say。　〃just　thow　in　everthin　you　see　an　boil　it

up。〃



〃what　if　it　don'；t　taste　good？〃　i　axed。



〃who　gives　a　shit。　you　ever　eat　anythin　around　here　that　did？〃



in　this；　he　is　correct。



well；　i　menced　to　get　everthin　i　could　from　the　iceboxes　an　the　pantry。　they　was　cans　of

tomatos　an　beans　an　peaches　an　bacon　an　rice　an　bags　of　flour　an　sacks　of　potatoes　an　i　don'；t

know　what　all　else。　i　gathered　it　all　together　an　say　to　one　of　the　guys；　〃what　i'；m　gonna　cook　it

in？〃



〃they　is　some　pots　in　the　closet；〃　he　say；　but　when　i　looked　in　the　closet；　they　is　jus　small

pots；　an　certainly　not　large　enough　to　cook　a　stew　for　two　hundrit　men　in　the　pany。



　



〃why　don'；t　you　axe　the　lieutenant？〃　somebody　say。



〃he'；s　out　in　the　field　on　maneuvers；〃　e　the　reply。



〃i　don'；t　know；〃　say　one　feller；　〃but　when　them　guys　get　back　here　today；　they　gonna　be



damn　hungry；　so　you　better　think　of　somethin。〃

〃what　about　this？〃　i　axed。　they　was　an　enormous　iron　thing　bout　six　feet　high　an　five　feet



aroun　settin　in　the　corner。



〃that？　that'；s　the　goddamn　steam　boiler。　you　can'；t　cook　nothin　in　there。〃



〃how　e；〃　i　say。



〃well；　i　dunno。　i　jus　wouldn　do　it　if　i　was　you。〃



〃it'；s　hot。　it'；s　got　water　in　it；〃　i　says。



〃do　what　you　want；〃　somebody　say；　〃we　got　other　shit　to　do。〃



an　so　i　used　the　steam　boiler。　i　opened　all　the　cans　an　peeled　all　the　potatoes　an　thowed　in



whatever　meat　i　could　find　an　onions　an　carrots　an　poured　in　ten　or　twenty　bottles　of　catsup　an

mustard　an　all。　after　bout　a　hour；　you　could　begin　to　smell　the　stew　cookin。



〃how'；s　the　dinner　in？〃　somebody　axed　after　a　wile。



〃i'；ll　go　taste　it；〃　i　say。



i　unfastened　the　lid　to　the　boiler　an　there　it　was；　you　could　see　all　the　shit　bubblin　an　boilin

up；　an　ever　so　often　a　onion　or　a　potato　woud　e　to　the　top　an　float　aroun。



〃let　me　taste　it；〃　a　feller　axed。　he　took　a　tin　cup　an　dip　out　some　stew。



〃say；　this　shit　ain'；t　near　done　yet；〃　he　says。　〃you　better　turn　up　the　heat。　them　fellers'；ll　be

here　any　minute。〃



so　i　turned　up　the　heat　on　the　boiler　an　sure　enough；　the　pany　begun　in　in　from　the

field。　you　could　hear　them　in　the　barracks　takin　showers　an　gettin　dressed　for　the　evenin　meal；　an

it　weren'；t　long　afterward　that　they　begun　arrivin　in　the　mess　hall。



but　the　stew　still　wadnt　ready。　i　tasted　it　again　an　some　things　was　still　raw。　out　in　the　mess

hall　they　begun　a　kind　of　disgruntled　mumblin　that　soon　turned　to　chantin　an　so　i　turned　the　boiler

up　again。



after　a　haf　hour　or　so；　they　was　beatin　on　the　tables　with　they　knives　an　forks　like　in　a　prison

riot；　an　i　knowed　i　had　to　do　somethin　fast；　so　i　turned　the　boiler　up　high　as　it　could　go。



i'；m　settin　there　watchin　it；　so　nervous　i　didn'；t　know　what　to　do；　when　all　of　a　sudden　the　first

sergeant　e　bustin　thru　the　door。



〃what　in　hell　is　goin　on　here？〃　he　axed。　〃where　is　these　men'；s　food？〃



〃it　is　almost　ready；　sergeant；〃　i　say；　an　jus　about　then；　the　boiler　menced　to　rumble　an

shake。　steam　begun　to　e　out　of　the　sides　an　one　of　the　legs　on　the　boiler　tore　loose　from　the

floor。



〃what　is　that？〃　the　sergeant　axed。　〃is　you　cookin　somethin　in　that　boiler！〃



〃that　is　the　supper；〃　i　says；　an　the　sergeant　got　this　real　amazed　look　on　his　face；　an　a　secont

later；　he　got　a　real　frightened　look；　like　you　might　get　jus　before　an　automobile　wreck；　an　then　the

boiler　blew　up。



i　am　not　exactly　sure　what　happened　nex。　i　do　remember　that　it　blowed　the　roof　off　the　mess

hall　an　blowed　all　the　winders　out　an　the　doors　too。



　



it　blowed　the　dishwasher　guy　right　thru　a　wall；　an　the　guy　what　was　stackin　plates　jus　took

off　up　in　the　air；　sort　of　like　rocket　man。



sergeant　an　me；　we　is　miraculously　spared　somehow；　like　they　say　will　happen　when　you　are

so　close　to　a　han　grenade　that　you　aren'；t　hurt　by　it。　but　somehow　it　blowed　both　our　clothes　off；

cept　for　the　big　chef'；s　hat　i　was　wearin　at　the　time。　an　it　blowed　stew　all　over　us；　so'；s　we　looked

like—　well；　i　don'；t　know　what　we　looked　like—　but　man；　it　was　strange。



incredibly；　it　didn'；t　do　nothin　to　all　them　guys　settin　out　there　in　the　mess　hall　neither。　jus　lef

em　settin　at　they　tables；　covered　with　stew；　actin　kinda　shell…shocked　or　somethin—　but　it　sure　did

shut　their　asses　up　about　when　they　food　is　gonna　be　ready。



suddenly　the　pany　mander　e　runnin　into　the　buildin。



〃what　was　that！〃　he　shouted。　〃what　happen？〃　he　look　at　the　two　of　us；　an　then　holler；

〃sergeant　kranz；　is　that　you？〃



〃gump—　boiler—　stew！〃　the　sergeant　say；　an　then　he　kind　of　git　holt　of　hissef　an　grapped　a

meat　cleaver　off　the　wall。



〃gump—　boiler—　stew！〃　he　scream；　an　e　after　me　with　the　cleaver。　i　done　run　out　the

door；　an　he　be　chasin　me　all　over　the　parade　grounds；　an　even　thru　the　officer'；s　club　an　the

motorpool。　i　outrunned　him　tho；　cause　that　is　my　specialty；　but　let　me　say　this：　they　ain'；t　no

question　in　my　mind　that　i　am　up　the　creek　for　sure。



one　night；　the　next　fall；　the　phone　rung　in　the　barracks　an　it　was　bubba。　he　say　they　done

dropped　his　atheletic　scholarship　cause　his　foot　broke　worst　than　they　thought；　an　so　he'；s　leavin

school　too。　but　he　axed　if　i　can　git　off　to　e　up　to　birmingham　to　watch　the　university　play

them　geeks　from　mississippi。　but　i　am　confined　to　quarters　that　saturday；　as　i　have　been　ever

weekend　since　the　stew　blowed　up　and　that'；s　nearly　a　year。　anyway；　i　cannot　do　it；　so　i　listen　to

the　game　on　the　radio　while　i'；m　scrubbin　out　the　latrine。



the　score　is　very　close　at　the　end　of　the　third　quarter；　an　snake　is　having　hissef　a　big　day。　it

is　38　to　37　our　way；　but　the　geeks　from　mississippi　score　a　touchdown　with　only　one　minute　to

go。　suddenly；　its　forth　down　an　no　more　time…outs　for　us。　i　prayin　silently　that　snake　don'；t　do

what　he　done　at　the　orange　bowl；　which　is　to　thow　the　ball　out　of　bounds　on　fourth　down　an　lose

the　game　again；　but　that　is　exactly　what　he　done。



my　heart　sunk　low；　but　suddenly　they　is　all　sorts　of　cheering　so'；s　you　can'；t　hear　the　radio

announcer　an　when　it　is　all　quieted　down；　what　happened　was　this：　the　snake　done　faked　an　out　of

bounds　pass　on　fourth　down　to　stop　the　clock；　but　he　actually　give　the　ball　to　curtis　who　run　it　in

for　the　winning　touchdown。　that　will　give　you　some　idea　of　jus　how　crafty　coach　bryant　is。　he

done　already　figgered　them　geeks　from　mississippi　is　so　dumb　they　will　assume　we　is　stupid

enough　to　make　the　same　mistake　twice。



i'；m　real　happy　bout　the　game；　but　i'；m　wonderin　if　jenny　curran　is　watchin；　an　if　she　is

thinkin　of　me。



as　it　turned　out；　it　don'；t　matter　anyhow；　cause　a　month　later　we　is　shipped　out。　for　nearly　a

year　we　has　been　trained　like　robots　an　are　going　to　somewhere　10；000　miles　away；　an　that　is　no

exaggeration。　we　is　going　to　vietnam；　but　they　says　it　is　not　nearly　as　bad　as　what　we　has　gone

thru　this　past　year。　as　it　turn　out；　tho；　that　is　an　exaggeration。



we　got　there　in　february　an　was　trucked　on　cattle　cars　from　qui　nhon　on　the　south　china

sea　coast　up　to　pleiku　in　the　highlands。　it　wadnt　a　bad　ride　an　the　scenery　was　nice　an　interestin；

with　banana　trees　an　palms　an　rice　paddies　with　little　gooks　plowin　in　them。　everbody　on　our　side



　



is　real　friendly；　to