new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版)-第7章

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I　hated　to　go　back　to　
my　house；　to　hide　in　the　dark　and　pretend　to　sleep　while　so　many　were　dying。　
〃I　went　to　check　Elizabeth　and　her　son　first。　I'd　grown　attached—always　a　
dangerous　thing　to　do　
considering　the　fragile　nature　of　humans。　I　could　see　at　once　that　she'd　taken　
a　bad　turn。　The　fever　was　
raging　out　of　control；　and　her　body　was　too　weak　to　fight　anymore。　
〃She　didn't　look　weak；　though；　when　she　glared　up　at　me　from　her　cot。　
〃Save　him！'　she　manded　me　in　the　hoarse　voice　that　was　all　her　throat　could　
manage。　
〃I'll　do　everything　in　my　power；'　I　promised　her；　taking　her　hand。　The　fever　
was　so　high；　she　probably　
couldn't　even　tell　how　unnaturally　cold　mine　felt。　Everything　felt　cold　to　her　
skin。　
〃You　must；〃　she　insisted；　clutching　at　my　hand　with　enough　strength　that　I　
wondered　if　she　wouldn't　pull　
through　the　crisis　after　all。　Her　eyes　were　hard；　like　stones；　like　emeralds。　
'You　must　do　everything　in　
your　power。　What　others　cannot　do；　that　is　what　you　must　do　for　my　Edward。〃　
〃It　frightened　me。　She　looked　it　me　with　those　piercing　eyes；　and；　for　one　
instant；　I　felt　certain　that　she　
knew　my　secret。　Then　the　fever　overwhelmed　her；　and　she　never　regained　
consciousness。　She　died　
within　an　hour　of　making　her　demand。　
〃I'd　spent　decades　considering　the　idea　of　creating　a　panion　for　myself。　
Just　one　other　creature　who　
could　really　know　me；　rather　than　what　I　pretended　to　be。　But　I　could　never　
justify　it　to　myself—doing　
what　had　been　done　to　me。　
〃There　Edward　lay；　dying。　It　was　clear　that　he　had　only　hours　left。　Beside　
him；　his　mother；　her　face　
somehow　not　yet　peaceful；　not　even　in　death。〃　
Carlisle　saw　it　all　again；　his　memory　unblurred　by　the　intervening　century。　I　
could　see　it　clearly；　too；　as　he　
spoke—the　despair　of　the　hospital；　the　overwhelming　atmosphere　of　death。　
Edward　burning　with　fever；　
his　life　slipping　away　with　each　tick　of　the　clock　I　shuddered　again；　and　
forced　the　picture　from　my　
mind。　
〃Elizabeth's　words　echoed　in　my　head。　How　could　she　guess　what　I　could　do？　
Could　anyone　really　want　
that　for　her　son？　
〃I　looked　at　Edward。　Sick　as　he　was；　he　was　still　beautiful。　There　was　
something　pure　and　good　about　
his　face。　The　kind　of　face　I　would　have　wanted　my　son　to　have。　
〃After　all　those　years　of　indecision；　I　simply　acted　on　a　whim。　I　wheeled　his　
mother　to　the　morgue　first；　
and　then　I　came　back　for　him。　No　one　noticed　that　he　was　still　breathing。　
There　weren't　enough　hands；　
enough　eyes；　to　keep　track　of　half　of　what　the　patients　needed。　The　morgue　was　
empty—of　the　living；　at　
least。　I　stole　him　out　the　back　door；　and　carried　him　across　the　rooftops　back　
to　my　home。　
〃I　wasn't　sure　what　had　to　be　done。　I　settled　for　recreating　the　wounds　I'd　
received　myself；　so　many　
centuries　earlier　in　London。　I　felt　bad　about　that　later。　It　was　more　painful　
and　lingering　than　necessary。　
〃I　wasn't　sorry；　though。　I've　never　been　sorry　that　I　saved　Edward。〃　He　shook　
his　head；　ing　back　to　
the　present。　He　smiled　at　me。　〃I　suppose　I　should　take　you　home　now。〃　
〃I'll　do　that；〃　Edward　said。　He　came　through　the　shadowy　dining　room；　walking　
slowly　for　him。　His　face　
was　smooth；　unreadable；　but　there　was　something　wrong　with　his　eyes—something　
he　was　trying　very　
hard　to　hide。　I　felt　a　spasm　of　unease　in　my　stomach。　
〃Carlisle　can　take　me；〃　I　said。　I　looked　down　at　my　shirt；　the　light　blue　
cotton　was　soaked　and　spotted　
with　my　blood。　My　right　shoulder　was　covered　in　thick　pink　frosting。　
〃I'm　fine。〃　Edward's　voice　was　unemotional。　〃You'll　need　to　change　anyway。　
You'd　give　Charlie　a　heart　
attack　the　way　you　look。　I'll　have　Alice　get　you　something。〃　He　strode　out　the　
kitchen　door　again。　
I　looked　at　Carlisle　anxiously。　〃He's　very　upset。〃　
〃Yes；〃　Carlisle　agreed。　〃Tonight　is　exactly　the　kind　of　thing　that　he　fears　
the　most。　You　being　put　in　
danger；　because　of　what　we　are。〃　
〃It's　not　his　fault。〃　
〃It's　not　yours；　either。〃　
I　looked　away　from　his　wise；　beautiful　eyes。　I　couldn't　agree　with　that。　
Carlisle　offered　me　his　hand　and　helped　me　up　from　the　table。　I　followed　him　
out　into　the　main　room。　
Esme　had　e　back；　she　was　mopping　the　floor　where　I'd　fallen—with　straight　
bleach　from　the　smell　of　
it。　
〃Esme；　let　me　do　that。〃　I　could　feel　that　my　face　was　bright　red　again。　
〃I'm　already　done。〃　She　smiled　up　at　me。　〃How　do　you　feel？〃　
〃I'm　fine；〃　I　assured　her。　〃Carlisle　sews　faster　than　any　other　doctor　I've　
had。〃　
They　both　chuckled。　
Alice　and　Edward　came　in　the　back　doors。　Alice　hurried　to　my　side；　but　Edward　
hung　back；　his　face　
indecipherable。　
〃C'mon；〃　Alice　said。　〃I'll　get　you　something　less　macabre　to　wear。〃　
She　found　me　a　shirt　of　Esme's　that　was　close　to　the　same　color　mine　had　been。　
Charlie　wouldn't　notice；　
I　was　sure。　The　long　white　bandage　on　my　arm　didn't　look　nearly　as　serious　
when　I　was　no　longer　
spattered　in　gore。　Charlie　was　never　surprised　to　see　me　bandaged。　
〃Alice；〃　I　whispered　as　she　headed　back　to　the　door。　
〃Yes？〃　She　kept　her　voice　low；　too；　and　looked　at　me　curiously；　her　head　
cocked　to　the　side。　
〃How　bad　is　it？〃　I　couldn't　be　sure　if　my　whispering　was　a　wasted　effort。　Even　
though　we　were　upstairs；　
with　the　door　closed；　perhaps　he　could　hear　me。　
Her　face　tensed。　〃I'm　not　sure　yet。〃　
〃How's　Jasper？〃　
She　sighed。　〃He's　very　unhappy　with　himself。　It's　all　so　much　more　of　
challenge　for　him；　and　he　hates　
feeling　weak。〃　
〃It's　not　his　fault。　You'll　tell　him　that　I'm　not　mad　at　him；　not　at　all；　
won't　you？〃　
〃Of　course。〃　
Edward　was　waiting　for　me　by　the　front　door。　As　I　got　to　the　bottom　of　the　
staircase；　he　held　it　open　
without　a　word。　
〃Take　your　things！〃　Alice　cried　as　I　walked　warily　toward　Edward。　She　scooped　
up　the　two　packages；　
one　half…opened；　and　my　camera　from　under　the　piano；　and　pressed　them　into　my　
good　arm。　〃You　can　
thank　me　later；　when　you've　opened　them。〃　
Esme　and　Carlisle　both　said　a　quiet　goodnight。　I　could　see　them　stealing　quick　
glances　at　their　impassive　
son；　much　like　I　was。　
It　was　a　relief　to　be　outside；　I　hurried　past　the　lanterns　and　the　roses；　now　
unwele　reminders。　
Edward　kept　pace　with　me　silently。　He　opened　the　passenget　side　for　me；　and　I　
climbed　in　without　
plaint。　
On　the　dashboard　was　a　big　red　ribbon；　stuck　to　the　new　stereo。　I　pulled　it　
off；　throwing　it　to　the　floor。　
As　Edward　slid　into　the　other　side；　I　kicked　the　ribbon　under　my　seat。　
He　didn't　look　at　me　or　the　stereo。　Neither　of　us　switched　it　on；　and　the　
silence　was　somehow　intensified　
by　the　sudden　thunder　of　the　engine。　He　drove　too　fast　down　the　dark；　
serpentine　lane。　
The　silence　was　making　me　insane。　
〃Say　something；〃　I　finally　begged　as　he　turned　onto　the　freeway。　
〃What　do　you　want　me　to　say？〃　he　asked　in　a　detached　voice。　
I　cringed　at　his　remoteness。　'Tell　me　you　forgive　me。〃　
That　brought　a　flicker　of　life　to　his　face—a　flicker　of　anger。　〃Forgive　you？　
For　what？〃　
〃If　I'd　been　more　careful；　nothing　would　have　happened。〃　
〃Bella；　you　gave　yourself　a　paper　cut—that　hardly　deserves　the　death　
penalty。〃　
〃It's　still　my　fault。〃　
My　words　opened　up　the　floodgate。　
〃Your　fault？　If　you'd　cut　yourself　at　Mike　Newton's　house；　with　Jessica　there　
and　Angela　and　your　other　
normal　friends；　the　worst　that　could　possibly　have　happened　would　be　what？　
Maybe　they　couldn't　find　
you　a　bandage？　If　you'd　tripped　and　knocked　over　a　pile　of　glass　plates　on　
your　own—without　someone　
throwing　you　into　them—even　then；　what's　the　worst？　You'd　get　blood　on　the　
seats　when　they　drove　
you　to　the　emergency　room？　Mike　Newton　could　have　held　your　hand　while　they　
stitched　you　up—and　
he　wouldn't　be　righting　the　urge　to　kill　you　the　whole　time　he　was　there。　
Don't　try　to　take　any　of　this　on　
yourself；　Bella。　It　will　only　make　me　more　disgusted　with　myself。〃　
〃How　the　hell　did　Mike　Newton　end　up　in　this　conversation？〃　I　demanded。　
〃Mike　Newton　ended　up　in　this　conversation　because　Mike　Newton　would　be　a　hell　
of　a　lot　healthier　for　
you　to　be　with；〃　he　growled。　
〃I'd　rather　die　than　be　with　Mike　Newton；〃　I　protested。　〃I'd　rather　die　than　
be　with　anyone　but　you。〃　
〃Don't　be　melodramatic；　please。〃　
〃Well　then；　don't　you　be　ridiculous。〃　
He　didn't　answer。　He　glared　through　the　windshield；　his　expression　black。　
I　racked　my　brain　for　some　way　to　salvage　the　evening。　When　we　pulled　up　in　
front　of　my　house；　I　still　
hadn't　e　up　with　anything。　
He　killed　the　engine；　but　his　hands　stayed　clenched　around　the　steering　wheel。　
〃Will　you　stay　tonight？〃　I　asked。　
〃I　should　go　home。〃　
The　last　thing　I　wanted　was　for　him　to　go　wallow　in　remorse。　
〃For　my　birthday；〃　I　pressed。　
〃You　can't　have　it　both　ways—either　you　want　people　to　ignore　your　birthday　
or　you　don't。　One　or　the　
other。〃　
His　voice　was　stern；　but　not　。is　serious　as　before。　I　breathed　a　silent　sigh　
of　relief。　
〃Okay。　I've　decided　that　I　don't　want　you　to　ignore　my　birthday。　I'll　see　you　
upstairs。〃　
I　hopped　out；　reaching　back　in　for　my　packages。　He　frowned。　
〃You　don't　have　to　take　those。〃　
〃I　want　them；〃　I　responded　automatically；　and　then　wondered　if　he　was　using　
reverse　psychology。　
〃No；　you　don't。　Carlisle　and　Esme　spent　money　o