new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版)-第58章

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Both　Alice　and　I　knew　he　wasn't　really　asking　about　Carlisle。　His　arm　
tightened　over　my　shoulder。　
〃She　can　stay　here；　can't　she？〃　I　pleaded。　〃I　already　asked　her。〃　
〃Of　course；〃　Charlie　said　mechanically。　〃We'd　love　to　have　you；　Alice。〃　
〃Thank　you；　Charlie。　I　know　it's　horrid　timing。〃　
〃No；　it's　fine；　really。　I'm　going　to　be　really　busy　doing　what　I　can　for　
Harry's　family；　it　will　be　nice　for　
Bella　to　have　some　pany。〃　
〃There's　dinner　for　you　on　the　table；　Dad；〃　I　told　him。　
〃Thanks；　Bell。〃　He　gave　me　one　more　squeeze　before　he　shuffled　toward　the　
kitchen。　
Alice　went　back　to　the　couch；　and　I　followed　her。　This　time；　she　was　the　one　
to　pull　me　against　her　
shoulder。　
〃You　look　tired。〃　
〃Yeah；〃　I　agreed；　and　shrugged。　〃Near…death　experiences　do　that　to　me　So；　
what　does　Carlisle　think　
of　you　being　here？〃　
〃He　doesn't　know。　He　and　Esme　were　on　a　hunting　trip。　I'll　hear　from　him　in　a　
few　days；　when　he　gets　
back。〃　
〃You　won't　tell　him；　though　when　he　checks　in　again？〃　I　asked。　She　knew　I　
didn't　mean　Carlisle　now。　
〃No。　He'd　bite　my　head　off；〃　Alice　said　grimly。　
I　laughed　once；　and　then　sighed。　
I　didn't　want　to　sleep。　I　wanted　to　stay　up　all　night　talking　to　Alice。　And　it　
didn't　make　sense　for　me　to　be　
tired；　what　with　crashing　on　Jacob's　couch　all　day。　But　drowning　really　had　
taken　a　lot　out　of　me；　and　my　
eyes　wouldn't　stay　open。　I　rested　my　head　on　her　stone　shoulder；　and　drifted　
into　a　more　peaceful　
oblivion　than　I　had　any　hope　of。　
I　woke　early；　from　a　deep　and　dreamless　sleep；　feeling　well…rested；　but　stiff。　
I　was　on　the　couch　tucked　
under　the　blankets　I'd　laid　out　for　Alice；　and　I　could　hear　her　and　Charlie　
talking　in　the　kitchen。　It　
sounded　like　Charlie　was　fixing　her　breakfast。　
〃How　bad　was　it；　Charlie？〃　Alice　asked　softly；　and　at　first　I　thought　they　
were　talking　about　the　
Clearwaters。　
Charlie　sighed。　〃Real　bad。〃　
〃Tell　me　about　it。　I　want　to　know　exactly　what　happened　when　we　left。〃　
There　was　a　pause　while　a　cupboard　door　was　closed　and　a　dial　on　the　stove　was　
clicked　off。　I　waited；　
cringing。　
〃I've　never　felt　so　helpless；〃　Charlie　began　slowly。　〃I　didn't　know　what　to　
do。　That　first　week—I　thought　I　
was　going　to　have　to　hospitalize　her。　She　wouldn't　eat　or　drink；　she　wouldn't　
move。　Dr。　Gerandy　was　
throwing　around　words　like　'catatonic；'　but　I　didn't　let　him　up　to　see　her。　I　
was　afraid　it　would　scare　her。〃　
〃She　snapped　out　of　it　though？〃　
〃I　had　Renee　e　to　take　her　to　Florida。　I　just　didn't　want　to　be　the　one　
if　she　had　to　go　to　a　hospital　
or　something。　I　hoped　being　with　her　mother　would　help。　But　when　we　started　
packing　her　clothes；　she　
woke　up　with　a　vengeance。　I've　never　seen　Bella　throw　a　fit　like　that。　She　was　
never　one　for　the　
tantrums；　but；　boy；　did　she　fly　into　a　fury。　She　threw　her　clothes　everywhere　
and　screamed　that　we　
couldn't　make　her　leave—and　then　she　finally　started　crying。　I　thought　that　
would　be　the　turning　point。　I　
didn't　argue　when　she　insisted　on　staying　here　and　she　did　seem　to　get　
better　at　first〃　
Charlie　trailed　off。　It　was　hard　listening　to　this；　knowing　how　much　pain　I'd　
caused　him。　
〃But？〃　Alice　prompted。　
〃She　went　back　to　school　and　work；　she　ate　and　slept　and　did　her　homework。　She　
answered　when　
someone　asked　her　a　direct　question。　But　she　was　empty。　Her　eyes　were　blank。　
There　were　lots　of　
little　things—she　wouldn't　listen　to　music　anymore；　I　found　a　bunch　of　CDs　
broken　in　the　trash。　She　didn't　
read；　she　wouldn't　be　in　the　same　room　when　the　TV　was　on；　not　that　she　
watched　it　so　much　before。　I　
finally　figured　it　out—she　was　avoiding　everything　that　might　remind　her　of　
him。　
〃We　could　hardly　talk；　I　was　so　worried　about　saying　something　that　would　
upset　her—the　littlest　things　
would　make　her　flinch—and　she　never　volunteered　anything。　She　would　just　
answer　if　I　asked　her　
something。　
〃She　was　alone　all　the　time。　She　didn't　call　her　friends　back；　and　after　a　
while；　they　stopped　calling。　
〃It　was　night　of　the　living　dead　around　here。　I　still　hear　her　screaming　in　
her　sleep〃　
I　could　almost　see　him　shuddering。　I　shuddered；　too；　remembering。　And　then　I　
sighed。　I　hadn't　fooled　him　
at　all；　not　for　one　second。　
〃I'm　so　sorry；　Charlie；〃　Alice　said；　voice　glum。　
〃It's　not　your　fault。〃　The　way　he　said　it　made　it　perfectly　clear　that　he　was　
holding　someone　responsible。　
〃You　were　always　a　good　friend　to　her。〃　
〃She　seems　better　now；　though。〃　
〃Yeah。　Ever　since　she　started　hanging　out　with　Jacob　Black；　I've　noticed　a　
real　improvement。　She　has　
some　color　in　her　cheeks　when　she　es　home；　some　light　in　her　eyes。　She's　
happier。〃　He　paused；　and　
his　voice　was　different　when　he　spoke　again。　〃He's　a　year　or　so　younger　than　
her；　and　I　know　she　used　
to　think　of　him　as　a　friend；　but　I　think　maybe　it's　something　more　now；　or　
headed　that　direction；　anyway。〃　
Charlie　said　this　in　a　tone　that　was　almost　belligerent。　It　was　a　warning；　not　
for　Alice；　but　for　her　to　pass　
along。　〃Jake's　old　for　his　years；〃　he　continued；　still　sounding　defensive。　
〃He's　taken　care　of　his　father　
physically　the　way　Bella　took　care　of　her　mother　emotionally。　It　matured　him。　
He's　a　good…looking　kid；　
too—takes　after　his　mom's　side。　He's　good　for　Bella；　you　know；〃　Charlie　
insisted。　
〃Then　it's　good　she　has　him；〃　Alice　agreed。　
Charlie　sighed　out　a　big　gust　of　air；　folding　quickly　to　the　lack　of　
opposition。　〃Okay；　so　I　guess　that's　
overstating　things。　I　don't　know　even　with　Jacob；　now　and　then　I　see　
something　in　her　eyes；　and　I　
wonder　if　I've　ever　grasped　how　much　pain　she's　really　in　It's　not　normal；　
Alice；　and　it　it　frightens　me。　
Not　normal　at　all。　Not　like　someone　left　her；　but　like　someone　died。〃　His　
voice　cracked。　
It　was　like　someone　had　died—like　I　had　died。　Because　it　had　been　more　than　
just　losing　the　truest　of　
true　loves；　as　if　that　were　not　enough　to　kill　anyone。　It　was　also　losing　a　
whole　future；　a　whole　
family—the　whole　life　that　I'd　chosen　
Charlie　went　on　in　a　hopeless　tone。　〃I　don't　know　if　she's　going　to　get　over　
it—I'm　not　sure　if　it's　in　her　
nature　to　heal　from　something　like　this。　She's　always　been　such　a　constant　
little　thing。　She　doesn't　get　past　
things；　change　her　mind。〃　
〃She's　one　of　a　kind；〃　Alice　agreed　in　a　dry　voice。　
〃And　Alice〃　Charlie　hesitated。　〃Now；　you　know　how　fond　I　am　of　you；　and　I　
can　tell　that　she's　happy　
to　see　you；　but　I'm　a　little　worried　about　what　your　visit　will　do　to　her。〃　
〃So　am　I；　Charlie；　so　am　I。　I　wouldn't　have　e　if　I'd　had　any　idea。　I'm　
sorry。〃　
〃Don't　apologize；　honey。　Who　knows？　Maybe　it　will　be　good　for　her。〃　
〃I　hope　you're　right。〃　
There　was　a　long　break　while　forks　scraped　plates　and　Charlie　chewed。　I　
wondered　where　Alice　was　
hiding　the　food。　
〃Alice；　I　have　to　ask　you　something；〃　Charlie　said　awkwardly。　
Alice　was　calm。　〃Go　ahead。〃　
〃He's　not　ing　back　to　visit；　too；　is　he？〃　I　could　hear　the　suppressed　anger　
in　Charlie's　voice。　
Alice　answered　in　a　soft；　reassuring　tone。　〃He　doesn't　even　know　I'm　here。　The　
last　time　I　spoke　with　
him；　he　was　in　South　America。〃　
I　stiffened　as　I　heard　this　new　information；　and　listened　harder。　
〃That's　something；　at　least。〃　Charlie　snorted。　〃Well；　I　hope　he's　enjoying　
himself。〃　
For　the　first　time；　Alice's　voice　had　a　bit　of　steel　in　it。　〃I　wouldn't　make　
assumptions；　Charlie。〃　I　knew　
how　her　eyes　would　flash　when　she　used　that　tone。　
A　chair　scooted　from　the　table；　scraping　loudly　across　the　floor。　I　pictured　
Charlie　getting　up；　there　was　
no　way　Alice　would　make　that　kind　of　noise。　The　faucet　ran；　splashing　against　
a　dish。　
It　didn't　sound　like　they　were　going　to　say　anything　more　about　Edward；　so　I　
decided　it　was　time　to　
wake　up。　
I　turned　over；　bouncing　against　the　springs　to　make　them　squeak。　Then　I　yawned　
loudly。　
All　was　quiet　in　the　kitchen。　
I　stretched　and　groaned。　
〃Alice？〃　I　asked　innocently；　the　soreness　rasping　in　my　throat　added　nicely　to　
the　charade。　
〃I'm　in　the　kitchen；　Bella；〃　Alice　called；　no　hint　in　her　voice　that　she　
suspected　my　eavesdropping。　But　she　
was　good　at　hiding　things　like　that。　
Charlie　had　to　leave　then—he　was　helping　Sue　Clearwater　with　the　funeral　
arrangements。　It　would　have　
been　a　very　long　day　without　Alice。　She　never　spoke　about　leaving；　and　I　
didn't　ask　her。　I　knew　it　was　
inevitable；　but　I　put　it　out　of　my　mind。　
Instead；　we　talked　about　her　family—all　but　one。　
Carlisle　was　working　nights　in　Ithaca　and　teaching　part　time　at　Cornell。　Esme　
was　restoring　a　seventeenth　
century　house；　a　historical　monument；　in　the　forest　north　of　the　city。　Emmett　
and　Rosalie　had　gone　to　
Europe　for　a　few　months　on　another　honeymoon；　but　they　were　back　now。　Jasper　
was　at　Cornell；　too；　
studying　philosophy　this　time。　And　Alice　had　been　doing　some　personal　
research；　concerning　the　
information　I'd　accidentally　uncovered　for　her　last　spring。　She'd　successfully　
tracked　down　the　asylum　
where　she'd　spent　the　last　years　of　her　human　life。　The　life　she　had　no　memory　
of。　
〃My　name　was　Mary　Alice　Brandon；〃　she　told　me　quietly。　〃I　had　a　little　sister　
named　Cynthia。　Her　
daughter—my　niece—is　still　alive　in　Biloxi。〃　
〃Did　you　find　out　why　they　p