new moon(暮光之城-新月英文版)-第45章

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〃About　the　rangers　and　the　hunters？　Don't　worry　about　it。　We　already　know。〃　
〃Don't　worry　about　it？〃　I　demanded　in　disbelief。　〃Jake；　they've　got　guns！　
They're　setting　traps　and　
offering　rewards　and—〃　
〃We　can　take　care　of　ourselves；〃　he　growled；　still　pacing。　〃They're　not　going　
to　catch　anything。　They're　
only　making　it　more　difficult—they'll　start　disappearing　soon　enough；　too。〃　
〃Jake！〃　I　hissed。　
〃What？　It's　just　a　fact。〃　
My　voice　was　pale　with　revulsion。　〃How　can　you　feel　that　way？　You　know　these　
people。　Charlie's　out　
there！〃　The　thought　made　my　stomach　twist。　
He　came　to　an　abrupt　stop。　〃What　more　can　we　do？〃　he　retorted。　
The　sun　turned　the　clouds　a　slivery　pink　above　us。　I　could　see　his　expression　
now；　it　was　angry；　
frustrated；　betrayed。　
〃Could　you　well；　try　to　not　be　a　werewolf？〃　I　suggested　in　a　whisper。　
He　threw　his　hands　up　in　the　air。　〃Like　I　have　a　choice　about　it！〃　he　shouted。　
〃And　how　would　that　help　
anything；　if　you're　worried　about　people　disappearing？〃　
〃I　don't　understand　you。〃　
He　glared　at　me；　his　eyes　narrowing　and　his　mouth　twisting　into　a　snarl。　〃You　
know　what　makes　me　so　
mad　I　could　just　spit？〃　
I　flinched　away　from　his　hostile　expression。　He　seemed　to　be　waiting　for　an　
answer；　so　I　shook　my　head。　
〃You're　such　a　hypocrite；　Bella—there　you　sit；　terrified　of　me！　How　is　that　
fair？〃　His　hands　shook　with　
anger。　
〃Hypocrite？　How　does　being　afraid　of　a　monster　make　me　a　hypocrite？〃　
〃Ugh！〃　he　groaned；　pressing　his　trembling　fists　to　his　temples　and　squeezing　
his　eyes　shut。　〃Would　you　
listen　to　yourself？〃　
〃What？〃　
He　took　two　steps　toward　me；　leaning　over　me　and　glaring　with　fury。　〃Well；　I'm　
so　sorry　that　I　can't　be　
the　right　kind　of　monster　for　you；　Bella。　I　guess　I'm　just　not　as　great　as　a　
bloodsucker；　am　I？〃　
I　jumped　to　my　feet　and　glared　back。　〃No；　you're　not！〃　I　shouted。　〃It's　not　
what　you　are；　stupid；　it's　what　
you　do！〃　
〃What's　that　supposed　to　mean？〃　He　roared；　his　entire　frame　quivering　with　
rage。　
I　was　taken　entirely　by　surprise　when　Edward's　voice　cautioned　me。　〃Be　very　
careful；　Bella；〃　his　velvet　
voice　warned。　〃Don't　push　him　too　far。　You　need　to　calm　him　down。〃　
Even　the　voice　in　my　head　was　making　no　sense　today。　
I　listened　to　him；　though。　I　would　do　anything　for　that　voice。　
〃Jacob；〃　I　pleaded；　making　my　tone　soft　and　even。　〃Is　it　really　necessary　to　
kill　people；　Jacob？　Isn't　there　
some　other　way？　I　mean；　if　vampires　can　find　a　way　to　survive　without　
murdering　people；　couldn't　you　
give　it　a　try；　too？〃　
He　straightened　up　with　a　jerk；　like　my　words　had　sent　an　electric　shock　
through　him。　His　eyebrows　shot　
up　and　his　eyes　stared　wide。　
〃Killing　people？〃　he　demanded。　
〃What　did　you　think　we　were　talking　about？〃　
He　wasn't　trembling　anymore。　He　looked　at　me　with　half…hopeful　disbelief。　〃I　
thought　we　were　talking　
about　your　disgust　for　werewolves。〃　
〃No；　Jake；　no。　It's　not　that　you're　a　wolf。　That's　fine；〃　I　promised　him；　
and　I　knew　as　I　said　the　words　
that　I　meant　them。　I　really　didn't　care　if　he　turned　into　a　big　wolf—he　was　
still　Jacob。　〃If　you　could　just　
find　a　way　not　to　hurt　people　that's　all　that　upsets　me。　These　ate　innocent　
people；　Jake；　people　like　
Charlie；　and　I　can't　just　look　the　other　way　while　you—〃　
〃Is　that　all？　Really？〃　he　interrupted　me；　a　smile　breaking　across　his　face。　
〃You're　just　scared　because　I'm　
a　murderer？　That's　the　only　reason？〃　
〃Isn't　that　reason　enough？〃　
He　started　to　laugh。　
〃Jacob　Black；　this　is　so　notfunny！〃　
〃Sure；　sure；〃　he　agreed；　still　chortling。　
He　took　one　long　stride　and　caught　me　in　another　vice…tight　bear　hug。　
〃You　really；　honestly　don't　mind　that　I　morph　into　a　giant　dog？〃　he　asked；　his　
voice　joyful　in　my　ear。　
〃No；〃　I　gasped。　〃Can't—breathe—Jake！〃　
He　let　me　go；　but　took　both　my　hands。　〃I'm　not　a　killer；　Bella。〃　
I　studied　his　face；　and　it　was　clear　that　this　was　the　truth。　Relief　pulsed　
through　me。　
〃Really？〃　I　asked。　
〃Really；〃　he　promised　solemnly。　
I　threw　my　arms　around　him。　It　reminded　me　of　that　first　day　with　the　
motorcycles—he　was　bigger；　
though；　and　I　felt　even　more　like　a　child　now。　
Like　that　other　time；　he　stroked　my　hair。　
〃Sorry　I　called　you　a　hypocrite；〃　he　apologized。　
〃Sorry　I　called　you　a　murderer。〃　
He　laughed。　
I　thought　of　something　then；　and　pulled　away　from　him　so　that　I　could　see　his　
face。　My　eyebrows　
furrowed　in　anxiety。　〃What　about　Sam？　And　the　others？〃　
He　shook　his　head；　smiling　like　a　huge　burden　had　been　removed　from　his　
shoulders。　〃Of　course　not。　
Don't　you　remember　what　we　call　ourselves？〃　
The　memory　was　clear—I'd　just　been　thinking　of　that　very　day。　〃Protectors？〃　
〃Exactly。〃　
〃But　I　don't　understand。　What's　happening　in　the　woods？　The　missing　hikers；　
the　blood？〃　
His　face　was　serious；　worried　at　once。　〃We're　trying　to　do　our　job；　Bella。　
We're　trying　to　protect　them；　
but　we're　always　just　a　little　too　late。〃　
〃Protect　them　from　what？　Is　there　really　a　bear　out　there；　too？〃　
〃Bella；　honey；　we　only　protect　people　from　one　thing—our　one　enemy。　It's　the　
reason　we　exist—because　
they　do。〃　
I　stared　at　him　blankly　for　one　second　before　I　understood。　Then　the　blood　
drained　from　my　face　and　a　
thin；　wordless　cry　of　horror　broke　through　my　lips。　
He　nodded。　〃I　thought　you；　of　all　people；　would　reali2e　what　was　really　going　
on。〃　
〃Laurent；〃　I　whispered。　〃He's　still　here。〃　
Jacob　blinked　twice；　and　cocked　his　head　to　one　side。　〃Who's　Laurent？〃　
I　tried　to　sort　out　the　chaos　in　my　head　so　that　I　could　answer。　〃You　know—
you　saw　him　in　the　
meadow。　You　were　there〃　The　words　came　out　in　a　wondering　tone　as　it　all　
sunk　in。　〃You　were　there；　
and　you　kept　him　from　killing　me〃　
〃Oh；　the　black…haired　leech？〃　He　grinned；　a　tight；　fierce　grin。　〃Was　that　his　
name？〃　
I　shuddered。　〃What　were　you　thinking？〃　I　whispered。　〃He　could　have　killed　you！　
Jake；　you　don't　realize　
how　dangerous—〃　
Another　laugh　interrupted　me　〃Bella；　one　lone　vampire　isn't　much　of　a　problem　
for　a　pack　as　big　as　ours。　
It　was　so　easy；　it　was　hardly　even　fun！〃　
〃What　was　so　easy？〃　
〃Killing　the　bloodsucker　who　was　going　to　kill　you。　Now；　I　don't　count　that　
towards　the　whole　murder　
thing；〃　he　added　quickly。　〃Vampires　don't　count　as　people。〃　
I　could　only　mouth　the　words。　〃You　killed　Laurent？〃　
He　nodded。　〃Well；　it　was　a　group　effort；〃　he　qualified。　
〃Laurent　is　dead？〃　I　whispered。　
His　expression　changed。　〃You're　not　upset　about　that；　are　you？　He　was　going　to　
kill　you—he　was　going　
for　the　kill；　Bella；　we　were　sure　of　that　before　we　attacked。　You　know　that；　
right？〃　
〃I　know　that。　No；　I'm　not　upset—I'm〃　I　had　to　sit　down。　I　stumbled　back　a　
step　until　I　felt　the　
driftwood　against　my　calves；　and　then　sank　down　onto　it。　〃Laurent　is　dead。　
He's　not　ing　back　for　
me。〃　
〃You're　not　mad？　He　wasn't　one　of　your　friends　or　anything；　was　he？〃　
〃My　friend？〃　I　stared　up　at　him；　confused　and　dizzy　with　relief。　I　started　
babbling；　my　eyes　getting　moist。　
〃No；　Jake。　I'm　so　so　relieved。　I　thought　he　was　going　to　find　me—I've　been　
waiting　for　him　every　
night；　just　hoping　that　he'd　stop　with　me　and　leave　Charlie　alone。　I've　been　
so　frightened；　Jacob　But　
how？　He　was　a　vampire！　How　did　you　kill　him？　He　was　so　strong；　so　hard；　like　
marble〃　
He　sat　down　next　to　me　and　put　one　big　arm　around　me　fortingly。　〃It's　what　
we're　made　for；　Bells。　
We're　strong；　too。　I　wish　you　would　have　told　me　that　you　were　so　afraid。　You　
didn't　need　to　be。〃　
〃You　weren't　around；〃　I　mumbled；　lost　in　thought。　
〃Oh；　right。〃　
〃Wait；　Jake—I　thought　you　knew；　though。　Last　night；　you　said　it　wasn't　safe　
for　you　to　be　in　my　room。　I　
thought　you　knew　that　a　vampire　might　be　ing。　Isn't　that　what　you　were　
talking　about？〃　
He　looked　confused　for　a　minute；　and　then　he　ducked　his　head。　〃No；　that's　not　
what　I　meant。〃　
〃Then　why　didn't　you　think　it　was　safe　for　you　there？〃　
He　looked　at　me　with　guilt…ridden　eyes。　〃I　didn't　say　it　wasn't　safe　for　me。　I　
was　thinking　of　you。〃　
〃What　do　you　mean？〃　
He　looked　down　and　kicked　a　rock。　〃There's　more　than　one　reason　I'm　not　
supposed　to　be　around　you；　
Bella。　I　wasn't　supposed　to　tell　you　our　secret；　for　one　thing；　but　the　other　
part　is　that　it's　not　safe　for　you。　
If　I　get　too　mad　too　upset　you　might　get　hurt。〃　
I　thought　about　that　carefully。　〃When　you　were　mad　before　when　I　was　yelling　
at　you　and　you　were　
shaking　？〃　
〃Yeah。〃　His　face　dropped　even　lower。　〃That　was　pretty　stupid　of　me。　I　have　to　
keep　a　better　hold　on　
myself。　I　swore　I　wasn't　going　to　get　mad；　no　matter　what　you　said　to　me。　But
　I　just　got　so　upser　that　I　
was　going　to　lose　you　that　you　couldn't　deal　with　what　I　am〃　
〃What　would　happen　if　you　got　too　mad？〃　I　whispered。　
〃I'd　turn　into　a　wolf；〃　he　whispered　back。　
〃You　don't　need　a　full　moon。〃　
He　rolled　his　eyes。　〃Hollywood's　version　doesn't　get　much　right。〃　Then　he　
sighed；　and　was　serious　again。　
〃You　don't　need　to　be　so　stressed　out；　Bells。　We're　going　to　take　care　of　
this。　And　we're　keeping　a　
special　eye　on　Charlie　and　the　others—we　won't　let　anything　happen　to　him。　
Trust　me　on　that。〃　
Something　very；　very　obvious；　something　I　should　have　grasped　at　once—but　I'd　
been　so　distracted　by　
t